The New Blogger Initiative May 1, 2012
Posted by Wilhelm Arcturus in blog thing, entertainment, Humor.
Tags: Fnord, Linkwhoring, NBI, New Blogger Initiative, Newbie Blogger Initiative
Unless mine is the only MMO blog you read (Hi mom!), you might have seen something about a New Blogger Initiative event thing going on this month.
I am not sure why it had to be “newbie,” which I find a bit condescending, especially when trying to be encouraging. So I am changing it, thus making my initial statement about blogging: Do what you want!
So what is this event about?
It is an attempt to encourage others to join in the
obsession addiction Sisyphean nightmare fun hobby of blogging about online gaming. And link whoring.
A group of
blowhards egomaniacs argumentative know-it-alls dangerous intellectuals sanctimonious bastards esteemed elder bloggers has gathered together with the idea of dispensing contradictory self-serving obvious obtuse simply bad hard learned advice along with a bit encouragement. And link whoring.
This will go on for the month of May, by the end of which
half of of us won’t be speaking to the other half most of us will have dropped due to apathy you’ll be sick to death of us we will all be the best of friends and you’ll know nothing more than you do right now all about blogging. And link whoring.
What do YOU have to do?
Start a new blog. The old hands recommend, almost unanimously, using some sort of blogging software for this.
Then go to register at the NBI Central forums and post “Hey, I started a new blog!” along the the URL to the blog. Make sure you post in the right forum or prepare to be flamed. (and don’t sign your post, we can all see your damn name in the side bar!)
Finally, post something on your blog, pace around in circles, pretend to read our advice, and await fame and fortune. Oh, and link us.
You have nothing to lose… since 78% of you are going give up within six months anyway. So link us right away please.
What is in it for You?
This cadre of old blogging hands will introduce you to such beloved blogging concepts such as:
- link whoring
- blogroll whoring
- pingback whoring
- Twitter whoring
- obsessing about page rank
- What ever happened to Orkut?
- using your blog to run your own 419 scam
- actually writing something
We will offer up a myriad of confusing opinions on the topics of:
- spam comments
- obscene comments
- trolling comments
- off-topic comments
- foreign language comments
- hostile comments
- sarcastic comments
- SynCaine’s comments
- comments with typos
- comments appended to the wrong post
- comments from your mother
- and how to get more people to comment on your blog!
Finally, we will help you answer the question every blogger asks themselves:
- Why the hell is nobody reading my blog?
We’ll have plenty of answers, and we promise you won’t like any of them!
Plus, if you act now, every participant will put a link to your new blog on their own site. (But only if you promise to link us back. Actually, now that I think of it, you first.)
Who is participating in this shambles?
Link whoring after the cut because the list is too damn long.
See, I was not kidding.
Here we have a whole bunch of blogs
I have never heard of wouldn’t read if you paid me love and read daily.
Look for blogging advice to be posted at the following sites during the month of May. Check them all at least every day. Hourly, if possible. And link them.
Did I mention link whoring?
This list may not be complete, but I stole it from Stargrace, so blame her.