Notable Middle Earth NPCs, vol. II

Here in part two of notable NPCs, we look further afield to visit some of my favorite NPCs.

Our first favorite, the drunkard, is a fixture at the Prancing Pony in Bree.  He sits, passed out, at one end of the common room, doomed to remain the guy who was in the room but missed Mr. Underhill’s disappearing trick.

He really should think of moving to Celondim.  He could set up shop next to the passed out sailor as the “Ale Enthusiest.” (Nice moustache, btw.)

Then we move on to the Lone Lands where, in the Foresaken Inn, we find the Whittler.

He just sits there, honing that stick for a bit, then admiring it.  I don’t know if he is trying to make something or just passing the time.  I suspect that the staff at the inn leave him be because of the potential for a “Whittler’s mother” joke, and not merely because of the actual passing resembelence to James McNeill Whister.  No, they’re just really desperate for humor out there.  Gallagher would sell out the Foresaken Inn. (Nice… erm… same moustache, different color.  I wonder if they are related?)

Finally we have to travel back to the Barrow Downs to find our third NPC who we know affectionately as the Noxious Barrow-Wight of Pisa.

When I first noted the slanted tendencies of this undead minion of the dark lord, I thought perhaps it was a temporary condition.  I have seen him several times since though, always at about 45 degrees off of reality.

I cannot tell if this is meant to reflect that somewhere, deep within him, some tiny shred of the man he once was is desperately trying to reach through to us, the living, or that one of his legs is simply shorter than the other.  Either way, when this guy comes running at you full tilt… so to speak… it is a sight to behold.

6 thoughts on “Notable Middle Earth NPCs, vol. II

  1. Wilhelm2451 Post author

    I guess your mind goes right there when your name rhymes with… well….

    Anyway, I think he is whittling a baton with which to whack people who make such suggestions.


  2. yunk

    That is huge!

    Obviously the Whittler is a collaborator with the occupying forces of goblins and orcs. Just look at the size of that carving! Too big for humans or elves, it must be for a troll. What kind of self-respecting human carves … um … toys for trolls?

    That’s probably the name of his business: Toys for Trolls, masquerading as a charity / wood whittling concern.


  3. anakh

    He may appear to be a simple whittler, but he’s really part of a finely honed weaponcrafting industry. Each day he whittles a few more spearheads, which once hardened, go to spears to fight the Enemy. Little do we know, but the Whittler is one of the richest men around.


  4. Bildo

    Funny thing is, Wilhelm… I was given my odd nickname in grade school because some naughty 6th grader thought it’d be funny… just kind of stuck with me. :)


  5. Yunk

    I always thought it was Bilbo but with a D, I never thought about the other thing. Though until I heard them say the name in the previews, I thought “eragon” was just “ee – ragon” prounced like “dragon” but an E instead of D. “it’s not a dragon, it’s an ee-ragon, that’s one letter better! You can keep your crummy dee-ragons! Starting with only the fourth letter of the alphabet, hah!”


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