The votes are in. The six judges chose the following entries:
First Place: Veni, Vedi, Mortuus
- From: Kendricke of Clockwork Gamer
- Votes: 3
- Deciding Factor: Lawyers Like Latin
- Award: Great Praise!
Second Place: Rome Burns: Perpetual Fiddles
- From: Two Hammers of Game Bunny
- Votes: 2
- Deciding Factor: Simple, pointed, in English
- Award: Praise
Third Place: Et tu, Chris McKibbin?
- From: Bildo of Ramblings of a Bildo
- Votes: 1
- Deciding Factor: Because “McKibbins” is so un-Roman
- Award: Thumbs up
So congratulations to Kendricke for the top entry! His wit is hereby declared the winner in this contest. Visit the site to which he contributes, Clockwork Gamer, to bask further in his wisdom.
All of the top three winners should feel free to place this contest prominently on their respective resumes.
Thank you to the five people who helped me judge. The panel included Gaff, Potshot, and White Kitten.
I resisted the temptation to pack the panel with individuals (real or make-believe) who would vote the way I told them, and so my own pick came in second place. I won’t make that mistake twice.
The real problem for me was that once the contest was declared, I had to force myself to try not to come up with my own entries. Using “Rome Demising” as the contest title did not put me off to a good start in that regard. And, thus, five headlines forced themselves upon me. As is common in my writing, they are all allusions to the work of others.
- I, Cancelled Us
- Last Man in Rome (Please turn out the lights)
- Latinum for the Federation, Not a Sestertius for Rome
- Imperial Rome Takes It In The Annals
- Friends, Romans, Unemployed
If you are feeling ambitious, you can comment with the source I stole from for each of these.
I know a couple of those, but I can’t recall what they’re from or the original quotes (so I guess I don’t really know them). But the last is from a famous speech from Caesar.
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And by “from Caesar” I mean “from Shakespeare”.
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Wait… thumbs up? Doesn’t that actually mean I get offed? Like in a Gladitorial competition? Ruh-roh.
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No, we’re setting the lions on all of those who received no votes. I should change your to a wooden sword I suppose.
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Woot!
Second place. Not too shabby! =)
Thanks all.
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The answer key, ages later…
I, Cancelled Us – I, Claudius by Robert Graves
Last Man in Rome (Please turn out the lights) – First Man in Rome by Kathleen McCullough
Latinum for the Federation, Not a Sestertius for Rome – Millions for defense, but not a penny for tribute, variously attributed
Imperial Rome Takes It In The Annals – The Annals of Imperial Rome by Tacitus
Friends, Romans, Unemployed – William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar Act III, scene II
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