Perpetual Contest Machine

I am stealing Two Hammers’ headline from Game Bunny and make it my own.

As with the cancellation of Gods & Heroes: Rome Rising, the news of Perpetual going into liquidation while it is sitting on top of the MMO franchise for Star Trek has the potential to be a gold mine for snarky headlines. 

I have seen some good tries, like the ones below:

“Perpetual Cancelation Machine”  –Game Bunny

“On stun-but not shocked” –The Common Sense Gamer

“The Final Frontier” –Clockwork Gamer

Tribbles under new ownership” –Tobold’s MMORPG Blog

But I have yet to see one that really lives up to the huge expectations that the source material should allow.  This is freakin’ Trek, right?

So I am declaring another minor contest. 

Stop trying to figure out what level of support you want to give VirginWorlds for a minute and put on your thinking caps.

To enter, in the comments for this post you may either:

1) Make up your own headline about the uncertain future of Star Trek Online

2) Point us all at a worthy headline that you or somebody else has already used

The Prize:  The winner will be featured in a post declaring his or her fine taste, wit, and wisdom and generally praising them with great praise.  If the winner has a web site, blog, podcast, or something else they would like linked, that will be included. (Since this will no doubt be a topic for Shut Up We’re Talking #15, maybe Darren will let me announce the winner on the show.)

All entries must be in by 23:59 GMT, Friday, December 7th, 2007. (A date that will live in infamy.) 

Multiple entries will be accepted, but too many will dilute your chances.  If you want to ammend, delete, or otherwise alter your entry before the deadline, use the form on the About page.

The winner will be picked by the Saturday Night Permanent Floating Instance Group, current members of the Shades of Twilight Guild that feel inclined to participate, and perhaps a host or two from Shut Up We’re Talking. (But no judge can enter and no entrant can judge. )

In event of a tie, I will simply go with the FDR plan, pack the supreme court, and get the results I want… only I’ll make it work.


  • Brevity is the soul of wit
  • Quality trumps quantity (Think twice, post once)
  • With puns, the worse they are, the better they are
  • Latin is good: We have lawyers and scholars on staff
  • Acknowledge the work of others: We have lawyers and scholars on staff
  • References can be too obscure, but you will have to work hard to get there
  • Obscure references with bad puns in Klingon have the potential to steal the show

[If you need some Trek inspiration, you can always check out this Wired article.]

32 thoughts on “Perpetual Contest Machine

  1. Bildo

    “To boldly go where oh so many games have gone before. The Crapper: the Final Frontier.”

    No brevity, a bit obvious, but meh… can’t fault me for trying.


  2. Roger

    Perpetual Gives Hard-Core Gamers the “DaS”, Gamers to Say “DoH!”

    I’m sooo getting sent to the punitentary for this.


  3. Pingback: The Common Sense Gamer » The Ancient Contest

  4. krones

    Star Fleet to Perpetual: “Get the fuck off our ship!”

    “Captain’s Blog Star Date 112607: Abandoning Perpetual.”

    “Initiating Perpetual-Destruct sequence”


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