Drake Down

A story of foolishness… or forgetfulness… or both.

As I mentioned on Friday’s post, I started doing some NPC research in order to get datacores for the invention work I have been doing.

Unfortunately, the only research NPC I could find that would research the technology I needed, and thus provide the right datacores, was way out of my usual neighborhood, 19 jumps from Hageken, jumps that took me through a set of low security systems to my final destination.

I flew out there in the low rent Badger without a problem, started the research, and then headed home.

The next day I got an message from the R&D NPC saying there was a problem and she needed my help and blah blah blah.

I flew out there again, bought and handed her 900 units of tritanium, which solved her problem and got the research going again.

(I only found out later, from Eric and Kirith that the research goes on even when the research agent sends you awkwardly phrased messages like, “Our research has been fruitful, but I’ve encountered a snag and our research has been halted.”)

I flew back to my neighborhood.

And, two days later, I got the same message again. So I flew out there again, did the 900 tritanium shuffle, and got things going again. This time I decided to park out there.

And it was a good thing too, because the next day, I got the same “trouble in the lab” message. But I was there and ready, with 900 tritanium already in hand.

Then another message shows up.

It turned out that I had hit the magic 16 mission mark with Ishukone Corporation and it was time for a story line mission. Of course, the mission was available just one system away from the research NPC.

I looked at the mission. A kill mission. And there I was out in the middle of somewhere, 22 jumps from my only warship, flying the barge of low expectations, and now I needed to kill stuff.

Then I realized, hey, I have a jump clone back there! I’ll just use that, bring out big daddy battlecruiser, skate through the kill mission, fly it back home, and then just use the jump close transport system to cover the tritanium runs until I build up enough datacores to make it worth the trip back.

I almost appeared to be thinking!

So I did my first clone jump.

Easy. I figured out how to do it without having to search the net.

There was just one small hitch. After I jumped I got an in game mail from the insurance company about the loss of my ship.

Erm… was I suppose to leave my ship before I did the jump? When I finally got back out there, it seemed to be fine. I think the game was just foreshadowing.

But still, I was back in my home constellation. I picked up my Drake, the most symmetricalist ship in the Caldari fleet, and set course back to my start point.

For some reason, the navigation computer routed me through Jita this time. It had never done that before. Jita, the system of ill omen. I thought to myself that this was a sign that I should log off now.

I always make up things like that to amuse myself, and I am always annoyed when they seem to come to pass.

Sure enough, not too many jumps later, I landed in the Rancer system and saw this.

Well crap. I knew I was caught even as I saw them. A battlecruiser aligns for warp like old people drive.

They started shooting a little, so I shot back.

Then I got the convo request, which got lost in all the tabs I had on my chat window. (note to self: lose some chat channels)

Once I got the right tab forward, I had to wade through a lot of 18 point colored text about what badass pirates these guys were and how I had better heave to and do what they say or end up another notch on their blah blah blah.

(note to pirates: If you are demanding a quick reply, less garbage up front would help.)

Eventually I got to the “stop shooting and give us some money” part of the program. I was ready for that. I’d read Darren’s article on how he got hit up.

However, my pirates wanted a lot more money. More than I had, and I am not talking about off by a couple thousand ISK here.

Meanwhile they were chatting away, telling me to not be a fool and transfer the MONEY NOW 10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

So I said I didn’t have it. Heck, I didn’t have half of it.

That stopped the counting for a moment. Then they said to make an offer.

I didn’t think less than half was going to fly. I mean, if *I* were the pirate and somebody offered ME less than half, I’d blow them up.

My money was all tied up in buy orders, which, had I thought about it, I could have cancelled and come up with enough money to make a reasonable offer.

But I wasn’t thinking about that. Oh well.

I asked Debes, who was on another channel listening to me get held up, how to self destruct, thinking to at least be annoying and maybe not give them kill credit. He told me to right click on my ship, and sure enough, there it was.

However, it seems to take time to self destruct.

It also does not seem to be a secret to others when you select the self destruct option.

So the pirates opened up on me again and that was that, the ship was gone.

Now they wanted a ransom not to pod me. A 15% discount off of their first demand!

Well, at least I had a clear conscious this time around.

A jump clone with no implants! Pod me already, it will save me the trip home!

So I told them to “bite me.”

Only I wrote “bit me,” and had to correct myself. That always spoils the moment.

And “bite me” they did. I was podded.

Then their leader, still on a channel, started in on a lecture about how being stubborn doesn’t pay and have fun buying a new ship and I should just pay next time and blah blah blah….

“Hey,” I thought, “I didn’t have the money. Take your lecture and blow it out the airlock.”

But I just closed the channel instead. All they picked up from me, in the end, minus salvage, was:

• ‘Malkuth’ Assault Missile Launcher I, Qty: 2
• Widowmaker Heavy Missile, Qty: 52
• Shield Recharger II, Qty: 2
• Flameburst Light Missile, Qty: 55
• Advanced ‘Limos’ Heavy Missile Bay I, Qty: 2
• Large Shield Extender I, Qty: 2
• Hornet I, Qty: 2 (Drone Bay)

So that about did in my ability (or desire) for any *pew* *pew* in EVE for a while.

Some days it does not pay to leave your station.

Did I mention that my insurance expired about a month back? Yeah, it was one of those nights.

Still, I don’t fret over the ISK I’ve lost. I know I can make that much ISK again with a mild effort.

No, it is the time and effort it takes to fit out a ship. Time is always the one thing of which I am short.