This is a post from the Blizzard forums that I have lifted completely and transplanted here for the sake of posterity and so I can find it easily when I want a laugh.
The original post was in the old Blizzard forums way back when. Gaff sent it to me a long time back. It disappeared and then got reposted in the new (for the time) forums. However the pictures, which are integral to the humor, are not embedded in the new post. So I thought I would try to recreated it here as it was meant to be viewed.
All credit and thanks go to Alamo of Thunderhorn who created this post on the WoW forums. (He even has his own page on WoW Wiki.) Thanks man! I laugh every time I read it. The Einstein picture alone is priceless.
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Alamo teechs u 2 play DURID! | 11/22/2005 12:09:09 PM PST
sumtimes peeps say 2 me HAY HOW 2 PLAY DURID IDK LOL! SO NOW, u CAN PLAY DURID by only rred this!
2) ITS EZ, u can only haf 2 reed teh
ALAMOES COMPLEET DURID INSTURCKSHUN
*************************************************
OK LISSEN Almo noes about sum durid things sinse the baginning. Maybe B4 durids was week & stuff but now Durids is very storng.
1) OK, Sum durids is bare
2) Tehm whos bare durids, can B 4 tank:
ONLY DURID DONT HAF SUM PEEPS IN THE HEAD AND A GUNZ LOL!
3) Man, sum bare druids can maek sum peeps poop in feer bc/ tehms so storng.
4) Bare druids is not so good at uh moonfare spam but its OK b/c a bare durid haf many armors &
when a thing hits durid, maybe thing gets borken hand LOL!
5) Bare durids is 4 funs when u can charje & stun & haf sum armors lol.
**************************************************
OK LISSEN Also durid haf uh seel form.
1) Seel is can fite, but is kind week.
2) Seel for swim, is fast & dont breeth
3) When seel is gone for fish, is nobody will catch.
4) Seel is can teech frends how is swim
ALSO I FORGETS
Durid has can run fast form is TRAVEL FORM
1) looks liek cheetuh
2) dont cheet or u get bann LOL! JK!!
3) Cheetuh can run fast and him is can run away frum trubul.
***********************************************
AND ASLO
SUM DURIDS IS MOON KIN
1) Them 1s is look all funny liek maybe form MOON! LOL!
2) mostly uh moonkin is 4 a spam moonfare
3) them haf sum good armors & fite storng.
********************************************
DURIDS IS VEERY FAST AND STORNG IN PVP CAN CAST ROOT 4 MAKE PEEPS STOP WHEN MOVE!!
bc Peeps can always ask if cat druid can B GOOD FOR FITE OR WHAT MAYBE?
U NO CAT DURIDS IS VERY STORNG! SUM PEEPS DUNNO Y SO HEAR IS LIST
1) OK now sum durid is cat
2) Cat durid, tehm dosent heel.
3) Cat uis for fite
4) Cat durid dosent talk about fite
5) when cat durid is FITE do not ask for HEEL and NINIRVATE!
and CAT DURIDS is no spam moonfare! Sum cat durids dosent no wut is uh moonfare!
*****************************************
DURIDS IS MUST ALWAYZ HALP EECH OTHER:
sumtimes a new durid is need sum halp and advise frum a good durid so u shuld alway halp unother
Even I lernd all this form DURID SCKOLL who has wut uh famus teecher there who is knows all this:
DURIDS IS HARD, & BUT STRONG
SUM PEEPLE THINK DURIDS IS CANT BE BARE AND CAN ONLY HEEL AND THEM DOSENT
NO THEY IS ALWAYS CAN SAY:
BUT ONLY DONT LISSEN TO THEM.
Durids is storng for bare or cat or seel or whatver and u dosent haf 2 heel if u dont liek heel
*********DURIDS IS 4 haf FUN TIME WIT FRENS every1 is like a fun time durid!!
ALAMO LIVES AGAIN!
ALAMO IS A CASSEL IN TEXAS! LOL!
The Ancient Gaming Noob 
Classic. I forgot about the pictures.
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Ironically, if you look at his armory page (linked off his name in the post) he is no longer spec’d feral.
Durid wut is treez, tehm heel!
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rly gr8 eavin if 8 was hawd 2reed. do u no thi buk “Feersum endjinn” bae Iain M. Banks? Thares a guy wr8in ol thi day dis fashin. Sez he cun only spell fun8ecully.
…Whenever one of those guys chapter ended, I had real trouble switching back to normal english…
P.S.: druid wut is cow, tehm is tauren.
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I got thru about 50% of that before the leet speak made me want to jump off a bridge. Parody notwithstanding, just annoying IMO.
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I actually had a cute “alamo-esque” conversation with a tauren druid once. It was incredibly funny — we kept it up over the course of our friendship. (And to think it was a random encounter — I buffed the druid with fortitude and then somehow we got into Alamo-speak.)
The best feral tank I’ve known used to greet everyone with, “Hai gusy!” Since at the time I didn’t know the whole Alamo thing, I always thought the typos were odd, especially since he usually doesn’t make any.
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Wasn’t there one like this for Mages?
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I always yell this stuff and people never get it. These youngin’s.
Someone needs to save this, and save .. who was the warlock, Kralnor? The staff using warlock.
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Pingback: In Which I Compare BDO, ESO, FFXIV, and WoW | Mama Druid
I’ve been a Druid since the original game in 2004 and this guide has always had a special place in my heart. Thank you for posting it in its entirety!
Here’s the new link to his armory: https://worldofwarcraft.com/en-us/character/us/thunderhorn/alamo
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Aren’t you a beautiful mama durid :)
I’ve always played moonkin, since niller. Never giving it up. Best spec and class as far as fantasy games go imo.
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