Hail, hail, fire and snow,
call the angel, we will go,
far away, for to see,
friendly angel come to me
-Rhyme from the worst episode ever
There I was in another strange solar system checking on another Federation outpost.
There had been a distress signal. Something strange was happening on the surface. There was a request to beam down to the planet.
However, when I got there, this was the mission briefing.
There are other episodes I am not fond of… in fact, it can be a bit painful to go back and watch a lot of those old episodes… did TV get more sophisticated over the last 40 years?
Anyway, there is only one episode I actually call out for special negative attention, and that is the one. A bad script, badly acted, with an annoying lawyer dressed up as a grotesque green-ish blancmange.
And so it was with some chagrin that I read this briefing which I immediately recognized as a nod to that very episode.
This put me in the mood to blow something up. Any Gorgon, kid waving their fist, or over-weight lawyer I ran across was looking to get a grenade tossed their way just for openers. And if you read that last line in the briefing, I seemed to have carte blanche to zero-out anybody who even looked at me cross-eyed. The away team was ready.
The first step on the mission was to get some more readings on these Gorgons, which meant running around the local area looking for that Star Trek Online “mission objective here” shiny effect. We were going to find out what made them tick, all the better to put the hurt on them, or so I hoped.
Upon getting the last reading, the mission update came up.
Who? What? That was it?
You mean I don’t get to shoot the bloated, scarred visage of a Gorgon or any snot-nosed pre-teens?
After that I had to head over to Starbase 24 where one is guaranteed the option of blowing things up.