The New Blogger Initiative

Unless mine is the only MMO blog you read (Hi mom!), you might have seen something about a New Blogger Initiative event thing going on this month.

I am not sure why it had to be “newbie,” which I find a bit condescending, especially when trying to be encouraging.  So I am changing it, thus making my initial statement about blogging: Do what you want!

So what is this event about?

It is an attempt to encourage others to join in the obsession addiction Sisyphean nightmare fun hobby of blogging about online gaming.  And link whoring.

The Plan

A group of blowhards egomaniacs argumentative know-it-alls dangerous intellectuals sanctimonious bastards esteemed elder bloggers has gathered together with the idea of dispensing contradictory self-serving obvious obtuse simply bad hard learned advice along with a bit encouragement.  And link whoring.

This will go on for the month of May, by the end of which half of of us won’t be speaking to the other half most of us will have dropped due to apathy you’ll be sick to death of us we will all be the best of friends and you’ll know nothing more than you do right now all about blogging. And link whoring.

What do YOU have to do?

Start a new blog.  The old hands recommend, almost unanimously, using some sort of blogging software for this.

Then go to register at the NBI Central forums and post “Hey, I started a new blog!” along the the URL to the blog.  Make sure you post in the right forum or prepare to be flamed. (and don’t sign your post, we can all see your damn name in the side bar!)

Finally, post something on your blog, pace around in circles, pretend to read our advice, and await fame and fortune.  Oh, and link us.

You have nothing to lose… since 78% of you are going give up within six months anyway.  So link us right away please.

What is in it for You?

This cadre of old blogging hands will introduce you to such beloved blogging concepts such as:

  • link whoring
  • blogroll whoring
  • pingback whoring
  • Twitter whoring
  • obsessing about page rank
  • What ever happened to Orkut?
  • using your blog to run your own 419 scam
  • actually writing something

We will offer up a myriad of confusing opinions on the topics of:

  • spam comments
  • obscene comments
  • trolling comments
  • off-topic comments
  • foreign language comments
  • hostile comments
  • sarcastic comments
  • SynCaine’s comments
  • comments with typos
  • comments appended to the wrong post
  • comments from your mother
  • and how to get more people to comment on your blog!

Finally, we will help you answer the question every blogger asks themselves:

  • Why the hell is nobody reading my blog?

We’ll have plenty of answers, and we promise you won’t like any of them!

Plus, if you act now, every participant will put a link to your new blog on their own site. (But only if you promise to link us back.  Actually, now that I think of it, you first.)

Who is participating in this shambles?

Link whoring after the cut because the list is too damn long.

See, I was not kidding.

Here we have a whole bunch of blogs I have never heard of wouldn’t read if you paid me love and read daily.

Look for blogging advice to be posted at the following sites during the month of May.  Check them all at least every day.  Hourly, if possible.  And link them.

Did I mention link whoring?

This list may not be complete, but I stole it from Stargrace, so blame her.

22 thoughts on “The New Blogger Initiative”

  1. Tesh

    Whee, links! And I could be running a 419 scam? Man, I’m doing this all wrong.

    Fun story: I posted calling this the New Blogger Initiative, not newbie. I didn’t even notice it was Newbie until reading over the other posts around the map. I agree, New is better, but maybe we’re reclaiming the “newbie” term and making it nonderogatory? *shrug*

    Whatever, I’ll just keep doing my thing.

    Like

  2. Gank

    Easily the funniest post I’ve read by you, and the best of the Newbie Blogger Initiative by far. Love it.

    Don’t forget to link me ;)

    Like

  4. bhagpuss

    Cracker of a post! (Cracker is compliment in this neck of the woods, which I mention since I realize that just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean we speak the same language).

    I stole my list from Stargrace too, but I didn’t bother to lay it out tidily like you did.

    Like

  9. Ardent Defender

    In the process of writing mines after getting home from work. I rather like the New Blogger Initiative better as well. So i’m gonna steal your NBI graphics if you don’t mind :)

    Like

  13. saucelah

    Syncaine’s comments get their own seminar? That’s what I want to know, how to become so infamous that newbies must be prepared to fear me. Muwahahahahahahahaha.

    (Also, I’m with Gank — read a number of these today and yours is by far the most engaging and entertaining)

    Like

  14. Wilhelm Arcturus Post author

    Well, there is another blogger lesson in this. 47 of us posted some sort of NBI story today. A few of us apparently felt that the same tale in all those places wasn’t going to fly.

    Tipa’s custom logo is an example.

    Like

  15. ferrel

    Awesome post and I have to give you props for going the extra mile to create all those links. I was kind of hoping Syp would give us lazy people a copy/past list!

    Like

  16. SynCaine

    How you don’t list the worlds #1 WoW blogger (is that a big deal anymore?) as the #1 comment type is why you will always be a noob.

    Also just what the internet needs; new people to blogging telling all of us how GW2 is revolutionizing the genre because that’s not how WoW did it. Off to update my blog roll…

    Like

  17. Wilhelm Arcturus Post author

    @SynCaine – That is the order of presentation. You don’t start flight school at the controls of a 747. Similarly, you don’t start teaching how to deal with comments by throwing you in the picture. They’ll just end up deleting comments and writing long, whiny posts about horrible comments all the time.

    Like

  18. Dril

    I’m torn between wanting to actually start a blog for real for once and doing something with it, and knowing that my carpal tunnel and distaste of the current “average MMO gamer” will only worsen tenfold.

    Like

  19. Feliz

    You know you have done to much SEO if you start writing like this:
    A group of blowhards egomaniacs argumentative know-it-alls dangerous intellectuals sanctimonious bastards

    Reminded me of this one:
    So this SEO analyst walks into a bar, grill, pub, tavern, bartender, drink, cocktail, beer, wine, liquo

    Like

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