Something About People Who Buy Ink by the Barrel

One of the fundamental aspects that I do not think people fully appreciate about the Goons in EVE Online is their origin in the Something Awful forums.

To join Goonswarm in EVE, you need to be an active and contributing member of the SA community, which pretty much means being active on the forums.  The Mittani wrote a column describing the difference between groups like the Goons, who come to the game already part of a community, and those he refers to as the “EVE born,” a group that includes me, which comes to EVE and then begins forming communities… or not forming them and finding EVE to be a dark and lonely place.

But my point, or something like a point, is that Goons are drawn from a base of people who are, for lack of a better term, forum warriors.  They stem from a community that has its base in forums.  So it is always mildly amusing to me to see somebody exasperated by the fact that, when they post something clearly counter to Goon interest, like Trebor’s anti-bloc (or anti-Goon) voting proposal, they get blobbed by Goons posting challenges to it in the forums.

I think we need a new saying, something equivalent to the Mark Twain quote about never getting in an argument with somebody who buys ink by the barrel and paper by the ton, to cover the modern world.  In Twain’s day, the editor of a newspaper wielded a lot of power by his ability to get his words printed and out to people in a way that no other method could match.  In EVE, taking on an articulate, motivated, and forum focused community has similar issues.

All of which is probably not exactly news or even of interest to most people.  But I started thinking about this in the aftermath of the Glenn Beck “Goonswarm = CIA” story last week.

Mandated by truth in advertising laws I think

Predictably, the Goons were annoyed at their own being included in Beck’s fantasies and, among other things, mobbed the comments section related to the story on Glenn Beck’s site.  A very forum warrior style of response.

But I wonder if that was the best riposte to Beck’s attack?

As far as I can tell, Glenn Beck is all about getting attention for Glenn Beck.  He is trying for the status of living brand, making him a political Martha Stewart.  So I have to wonder if this was a win in his eyes, what with all the page views and nearly 300 comments on the story, which looks to be about 10-20x what other items on his site get.

I suppose we’ll know if he brings up the vast Goonswarm conspiracy again.

I also wonder what Dave Emory made of the same situation?  While being diametrically opposed politically to Glenn Beck, he also sees the hand of the CIA in just about everything.  I might have to go find out.  It would be, if nothing else, amusing to have two polar opposite sources claiming the Goons were in bed with the CIA.

Addendum: Of course, then there is the New York Times putting the CIA in the picture as well.  So it’s got to be true, right?

Vast Goon Conspiracy Ensnares Even Its Foes!

The Goons, not content to infiltrate CCP and subvert democracy, have apparently co-opted their foes on and off the Council of Stellar Management as well.

Take CSM member Tredbor Daehdoow, who was, in his own words, the target of Goon smear campaign as part of the last CSM election.

Tredbor, who had this to say about the Goon’s CSM goals.

And that is exactly why The Mittani and his buddies are running for CSM. He’s realized that it is actually very, very effective at influencing CCP, and he wants to try to use it as a vehicle to advance his own petty in-game interests, at the expense of the vast majority of the players of EVE.

And while he managed to overcome the Goon onslaught and get elected to the 6th CSM, he is probably in the corner of, “Goons are bad, mmkay?”

And yet Tredbor seems to be pretty much on board with The Mittani’s views about the lack of focus on Flying in Space (FiS) development in the game, as stated in the now famous/infamous Nuclear Winter Goon CEO update.

The Mittani speaks... and he has a cool icon!

And there is Shadoo, who is not on the CSM but who is, The Mittani says, “…at the moment, my enemy,” and who seems to see merit in the goals of the agenda of the Goons.

Apart from the first few paraghraphs feeding the new found pubbie empire, that is a pretty good stab at where EVE is at and what needs to be looked at. A good CEO update for sure.

Microfixes are no longer enough to keep this aging game afloat, radical changes are needed which I have no doubt CCP will not have the balls or the resources to commit to without a strong as fuck kick in the ass.

Nerfs focus on fixing shit in isolation, but unless you address the core of the issue the imbalance will simply shift to something new. Just like it did with supers.

So you have to admire the guile and power of the Goons and their CEO/Spymaster, The Mittani. They are apparently unstoppable in their drive to get what they want, able to turn their foes to their point of view and subvert the company itself.

We might as well just change the company name from CCP, Crowd Control Productions, to GCP, Goon Controlled Productions and declare the age of  Pax Goonicana… Goonaria… Goonatopia… hrmm… the Empire of the Goons!

Unless, of course, they actually have some sort of legitimate point that resonates with their friends and foes alike in 0.0 space. (Along with some people at CCP who care about that aspect of the game.)  In which case this might just be another example in the long, long tradition of a specific sub-group within a game complaining as loudly as they can manage that the company just doesn’t get it.

But EVE is a sandbox, and especially so in 0.0 space, so the content is all player driven.  They couldn’t possibly need anything beyond the most minor changes related to FiS.

It is obviously a Goon conspiracy.  Damn them!

[Addendum: More on “What The Mittani Wants” in an interview over at MMORPG.com.]

[Addendum 2: And there is a humorous take on the whole thing.]