The Very Long Post about “The Move”

We are now entering the era of my blogging.  Not quite this blog yet, but an earlier blog I was writing that was not about video games.  Written under a different pseudonym, it was mostly to annoy some relatives in Nevada county by picking out amusing entries from the police blotter published in the local paper.

In the midst of that I recorded several entries about the big move that our new leader Mitch had been demanding.

I am going to repost what I wrote at the time, trusting my memories that were contemporary with the events more than my vague recollections of things that happened nearly 20 years ago.

In these posts I refer to our new CEO as “Tim” rather than “Mitch” because he was our CEO as I wrote this and I wanted to avoid being fired in the extremely unlikely scenario where these posts were revealed and pinned on me.

Some imagery the evoke feels

I have made some minor edits to correct awkward phrasing, typos, and my usual subject/verb mis-match issue.  Otherwise, this is 2006 me speaking, trying to tell a story that had been in progress for a while.  But at least I was about 18 years closer to events at that time.

Approximately five years and four month ago my company signed a five year lease on the building in which I work. The bubble had burst on the web frenzy, there was no more frantic Y2K buying to prop up the industry, my remaining stock options were under water and doomed to remain so for all eternity, and our director of facilities, in a move that some speculate lead to his being let go eventually, managed to lock in the sky-high monthly rent on our crappy building for another five years. (With increases incrementally over the five years to be, you know, fair to the landlord.)  [This was demanded by the CEO, who I have covered in a previous post.]

So while 7 of the 10 buildings in our complex ended up empty, we still paid the internet frenzy era going rate for office space in Silicon Valley. We would hear in quarterly result meetings that the mill stone of the rent hanging around our neck was keeping us from being profitable. Occasionally some optimist would approach the land lord of the day (the complex turned over owners 6 times during our lease, although I don’t know if you should really count the bank repossessing the property as an “owner”) to try to negotiate some reduction in our rent, as though the owners could see some advantage in cutting off their minimal revenue stream.

Three years ago we got a new CEO. We will call him Tim. The new CEO, a former Next and Apple Exec and an neighbor of Steve Jobs, hated our building from day one. He had degrees in the “science” of Sociology, so he would bemoan the lack of “warmth” and “energy” in the building. He wanted more “buzz” and a better sense of “collaboration.” However, he was also pretty sharp when it came to business and got us to a point where the quarterly results meetings included a complaint about how much more profitable we would be if it were not for this 60,000 square foot drain on our bottom line, so we cut him some slack on the touchy-feely stuff. After all, not many of us were overly fond of the building at any price, and having the CEO tell us it was a bad building only built up our dislike.

About two years ago, Tim started to talk up his vision of a new building for us. While nobody was keen on his disdain for offices (a view shared by our engineering VP, who likes to sit in his huge office and tell fond stories of working at HP after college where nobody had an office) or his vague quest for more “warmth,” he did also talk about better locations (which, in the end, meant closer to his home), better facilities, exercise rooms, cafeterias, and carpets that did not leave a bad smell on your hand should you accidentally touch them. Basically, he wanted something that we would admit to working in with out duress being involved.

Around February 2005 Tim announced that we were going to begin looking in earnest for our new home. Tim told us how “A” level real estate was available at a fraction of what we were paying per square foot for our, at best, “B-minus” space. We were happy. We got whispers from our CIO, a very competent guy under whom the responsibility for facilities rested, about the places he and Tim visited. Some nice places in in the north county area where we would share a cafeteria and have access to a full gym, one on Moffett (north), one on Charleston (even further north), and another place on Sand Hill Road (cripes, too far north!).

Tim lives in Palo Alto (and is a neighbor of Steve Jobs) and so he concentrated on locations between his home and our current office in Santa Clara. That meant we were moving north. At the time a Dilbert cartoon ran about his company moving and the fact that the new location was close to the CEO’s home was purely coincidence. I still have this cartoon in my office.

About a month and a half later, Tim said at a company meeting that the search for a new building was being postponed. No landlord wanted to commit space to a company that was a year away from moving. At the six month mark, however, landlords would begin to entertain our interests, so the search would begin in earnest in September.

September arrived and we begin asking about new buildings again. More whispers about places in locations not far off from the past list, though at least Sand Hill Road was no longer on the agenda.

We were told in October that the hold up on getting ourselves signed up with one of these locations was getting a letter of intent passed through the legal department of our parent company. Still, we had enough time to get things setup, get access to the building, begin the move in early February so that come April 1, 2006, we would be free of our old building.

The legal excuse continued until early November when it was announced that we were being sold by our parent company to one of our biggest competitors. [This will get a post of its own.] This is the real reason nothing has gone on since September.

We are told that we won’t be able to sign a lease until the deal is closed because our parent company doesn’t want to be on the hook for anything and the buyer won’t sign anything until we belong to them.  We are assured that the deal will close by the end of November, first week of December at the latest. After that, we can get on with our moving plans.

January 1, 2006: The deal closes.

During the second week of January, the Director of Facilities for our new company shows up. I will call him Smithers. He comes in and talks to us enthusiastically about moving. He is going to send out a survey for us to take so he can get our input. Some of us go talk to our old CIO. He has been given a nice severance package if he stays for a given duration and has been relegated to an advisory role. He tell us that all of his work has been tossed and that Smithers is here to start from scratch.

Smithers takes his survey and then talks to us about the results. He, at least, does not have a vested interest in moving the building closer to his home and through some very faulty calculations, declares that in our current general area is the best place, commute-wise, for our office to be located. We can see on his chart that he has left off the people in Fremont and a couple in Gilroy who would skew the whole thing south, but at least in the same area means nobody’s commute gets worse.

Smithers says he is going to hire a real estate rep out here (having let go the one we had been working with for five months) and that said rep will meet with the departments to find out their needs. Smithers will be off in the UK finishing up moving the one of the company facilities out there.

Departments without a lot of inherent infrastructure… people who can do their jobs at home on a laptop… remained unconcerned. My boss, who is directly responsible for a lab with 180 servers and the entire infrastructure for our software build system, was starting to get nervous. We got together our space requirements and delivered them to the real estate person who is working with Smithers.

She goes off to do her thing. She comes back and asks if a place that is all offices is okay with us. Well, Tim is gone, our VP isn’t opposed, so we say sure, why not. Despite the fact that I keep hearing different people claim that “such-and-such a group doesn’t like offices” I have yet to find anybody at our location who would choose a cube over an office.

Smithers gets back and tells us that they need to get some stuff together and signed, but we should be ready to move at the end of February. That gives us a month of buffer on the back side. That also doesn’t give us much time to get our crap together for the move.

We get shown the new location, the 7th floor of the Sun building off of Great America Pkwy, right next to Birk’s. [Which is still there!] We got in electrical people, cabling people, moving people, an architect, and started laying out how this was going to happen. We promised extra money to the contractors to get stuff done in time for the move. We cannot have any down time! We put in rush orders on equipment for the new place. We spend lavishly because timing is everything!

January 30th, moving boxes arrive. People begin packing up their cubes and offices. My boss packs up nearly everything in his office the day the boxes show up.  I put together a few boxes in my office and haphazardly toss some stuff into them.  I have collected a lot of junk over the last eight years and I suspect I won’t miss most of it if I just toss it.  Certainly my binder of S1 company rules, including the notorious “how to answer the phone memo” won’t be any loss to me.

We put up a floor map of the new building in an empty office. We let people pick their offices. Only a few of us have been to the new building, but people are getting excited. New stuff, the promise of a better building, something we were told we deserve, and everybody gets their own office makes us feel good.

I am one of the people who has been to the new building. The offices are 7’x9′ and have sliding glass doors with ‘privacy stripes’ on them that look like they are etched into the glass from a distance, but are in fact stickers. If you took out the desk and put in a double bunk and a toilet, it would be about the size of a prison cell. I am asked to stop using phrases like “Orwellian” to describe the new place. My boss wants me to be more positive and I have to admit that yes, the place looks cleaner, nicer, and it lacks the distinct smell our building has had since the second floor men’s room plumbing gave out last May, and that on the 4th of July we can all watch the fireworks at Great America.

About the second week of February we are at the point where we can do no more without regular access to the building. We get the real estate lady to let us in to do some planning, but we need to have the place opened up for us to get electricity in place, air conditioning routed, labs build up, networking done.

Then the word comes down. We are working out some issues in the contract. It will be a little more time before we move.

Time passes.

Responses to questions about the move are few and far between.

Equipment begins to arrive. We find places to stash it. Routers, switches, a KVM control system for the new lab, 19 enclosed racks, power strips, and huge new servers are now sitting all over our building, waiting for a home.

People start digging through boxes for items they need. Two people who went on long vacations and expected to come back to a new building have to set their computers back up in their old locations.

March blows in. We are told that we will be “GO” to move on March 20th. Access to the building is just waiting on one more signature.

At this point I have to speculate. We are told that the hold up is that the owner of the building has to sign something to let Sun sub-let the 7th floor to us. Sun has no employees at all in this building, the company having pretty much collapsed into a shell of its former self with the end of the dotcom boom, so there is just a big sign on the outside.  But it has managed to sub-let the first six floors.

My theory is that, somehow, Sun screwed over or otherwise pissed off the building owner while sub-letting the first six floor because the owner is dragging his feet big time. The first agreement of intent needs the signature of the building owner, but if the owner ignores it, the agreement will be considered signed after thirty days. The clock on that started running on March 1st.

On March 30, the agreement of intent is considered signed. Now we can move onto the details of the lease.

However, it is now April 1st and our own lease on the building we are in has expired. We are now paying month-to-month which, according to our agreement with the landlord, means paying DOUBLE our current, already way over market rate per square foot.

Smithers goes to “negotiate” with out landlord to try and get that number reduced. Hah. I can’t imagine what a landlord with seven empty buildings can see as the advantage to lowering the income he is getting. Still, through some inducement, he gets them to change it to a day-by-day lease, so we have an incentive to get out sooner, but the price is the same.

And things grind on at the new building. The owner is coming up with all sorts of restrictions and such to add to our lease agreement. We have to change back any construction we do on our floor when we leave. We cannot change the air conditioning. We can change the air condition (because it turns out Sun owns the A/C units) but we have to put back all the ducting as it was when we leave. We have to submit plan and permits for all of the work we want to do (but we don’t have access to the building yet!) We cannot have a floor loading of greater than 50 pounds per square foot. This technically means that I, and some of my co-workers, will not be allowed to stand on the floor in our new office. Others will merely forbidden to stand on one foot.

And these are only the items that made it to me and I was not plugged into the process at all.

Meanwhile the contractors are pissed at us, and justifiably so. We promised them work, made them accommodate our schedules, and now, two months after our proposed start date, we are still stringing them along without paying them a red cent.

On or about April 13th, Smithers, under heavy pressure from his boss and the CEO to finish up this move, decides he needs a plan B.

[I had delayed updating the story because we hadn’t moved yet when I wrote the July posts, but delayed the next installment due to unwarranted optimism that I would be writing the final entry soon.]

Deus Ex Machina?

Our current landlord shows up. He tells Smithers that we can have the top floor of the building behind us, which can be completely refurbished, and he will even throw in some money for custom construction and improvements, all for only twice the price per square foot of the Sun building. though he will lower our day-to-day rent to that price as well, as soon as we sign.

This is a Plan B on a silver platter for Smithers and he jumps at it like a hack writer on a mixed metaphor.

This change of plans will mean:

  • The company will save a lot of money on rent in the short term, as the Sun deal shows no sign of being resolved any time soon.
  • Rather than an office for everyone, only managers will have offices. Everybody else will be back in cubes.
  • The move date will be some time in July. [Remember, I am writing this at the end of August.]
  • We have to start from scratch on design and planning
  • We will end up in a twin of the building we have been told is crap for the last two years.
  • We have to find a new place to watch fireworks on the Fourth of July.

Morale is down on the whole subject as one would expect.

All Smithers has to do to come out of this smelling like a rose is get the deal signed and get us moved in July. The duration of the work to get the building in shape for us is estimated to be about eight weeks. That is the estimate he is giving us, anyway.

April becomes May. Again news is sparse. All we hear is that the Sun deal passed another deadline that allowed us to walk away without losing any money.

May becomes June. A company-wide note goes out to announce that Smithers has decided to pursue other career opportunities, which is what you say when you fire somebody in management.  They don’t get fired or laid off, they go to a farm upstate or some such, like the employees would be sad to hear that incompetence was being justly punished.

June becomes July. A new guy is hired to take over the move. We shall call him Sanders. Sanders talks to all the departments to make sure that everybody is happy with what they will be getting in the new building. Not knowing how Smithers had built up a history of empty promises while ignoring everybody for the most part, he opens a can of worms. Jokes start about not packing any Halloween decorations because we will be hanging them in our current building.

July becomes August. Sanders is busy trying to incorporate suggestions as well as design and color scheme ideas. There is a plan to get better cube material and furniture. A committee is formed to review chairs and partitions. Jokes about Thanksgiving decorations begin to circulate.

August nears its end. There is no hiding that nothing is going on at the new building. We can look out the window and see it. We also learn that the previous eight week estimate was “very aggressive.” Jokes about New Years Eve in our current location start.

We have not heard anything about the move for a while. One can look out the window of our building and into the building we have been told we are moving into and can clearly see that nothing is going on. No work is being done.

Still, we have been spending time picking out cube furniture. Or at least the people who will be sitting in cubes have been participating in that process. There were several different types of chairs to consider and the color and texture of the cube walls and how much desk space people need in cubes.

Managers have picked out or have otherwise been assigned their offices on the big chart that shows how the new building will look when we move in.

We have become used to the idea of the new building. The offices promised to everybody in the last building choice have been mostly forgotten and people are becoming involved with the issues involving the building in our complex.

And then last week an announcement comes out of HQ. They have acquired another company. This company is only a few miles from our location.

The first question in my mind: How will this affect the move?

Details begin to crawl in over the following week. HQ wants all of us in the same building. The new company is small, but not so small that we can all fit in the space allowed by the building behind us. The new company has their own building in a nice location and lots of space because they used to be a much bigger company until they fell on hard times.

They also have tiny cubes with half height walls. This tidbit has not yet made the rounds as it came from a scouting report made by one of the managers. And the cube material is all pretty much new and there is a ton of it, so we won’t be tossing it out to buy new cube walls. We cannot afford to toss it out anyway as this will complicate things with our current landlord which is going to cost us.

And then the question comes around from Sanders, the director of facilities, “How can we get you guys moved into this new building by the end of the month?”

I keep thinking this story is almost over, then some new twist occurs.

Let the wailing begin.

There have been a lot of ripples caused by our ever impending move. At least one was to our benefit.

Back in February when we were planning for the Sun building, when it was thought that everybody would be sitting in a 7×9 office, accommodating people and their belongings was a concern. (It is again, now that we are all going into 6×8 half height cubes, but that is another story.) We gave serious thought on how to cut down on wasted space.

One thing that came up was monitors. All of us in engineering had 20-21″ CRT monitors sitting on our desks. Some people had two or three. They take up a large amount of real estate on your desk, and nobody’s desk was going to get any bigger. There was also some concern about the amount of heat generated by a big CRT in a 7×9 office.

As part of the plan to get us into smaller work areas, we asked for an LCD monitor for everybody in engineering. As it turns out, at HQ, a new standard LCD monitor had just been designated, the Dell 2001FP, a 20″ 1600×1200 native resolution monitor.

A pallet of these monitors arrived in late February. All of engineering got one. There are still empty 2001FP boxes sitting around like it was Christmas last week.

These are nice monitors. They are nicer still if you have a video card that supports DV-I output. The company was not going to pay for that, but a couple of people, including myself, had spare video cards at home with the necessary output.

So for the last seven months or so we have benefited from the move in at least one way. Well, most of us have. One engineer said that 1600×1200 isn’t enough resolution and he stuck with his 21″ CRT running at a very tight resolution indeed. He wears glasses and sits very close to his monitor and I do not wonder why.

It had been a tradition at our old company over the years to have a “yard sale” to get rid of old equipment. The usual suspects in the sale were computer systems that were 3-7 years out of date, lab equipment, some older network gear and the like. Occasionally office chairs and other furniture were included. Mostly it was junk, but there have been some gems including a very nice HP oscilloscope complete with all probes and the manual which I bought then donated to a local high school.

Of course we are now part of bigger company with headquarters in the South. The company is ISO 9000 certified and has a process for everything. Everything it seems, except documenting and publishing processes so that those of us not based at HQ can figure out how to get things done. And even when you can get documentation on a process, it always assumes knowledge you probably do not possess if you need to read the document.

Of course you know, if you have been reading here for a while, that we are going to be moving to a small and less expensive location. Some day soon if we are not careful.

We used the upcoming move as an excuse to clean shop here. In a couple empty areas of our building we collected over three dozen 20″ monitors (because we have all those new LCD monitors I mentioned in a previous entry), five dozen Pentium III 500-850MHz systems, a few early Pentium IV systems, four Sun servers, a dozen giant, rack mount Compaq multi-processor (PII or PIII) servers, a few dubious laptops, and a variety of printers, routers, and other stuff that could only charitably called “junk.”

Nothing terribly exciting, really. I have better junk, or enough junk, at home already, depending on with whom you speak.

My boss ended up in charge of this sale, mostly because nobody else would take the job. He spent some weeks trying to get somebody in HQ to okay the sale. Finally, with the cooperation of other local managers, he set the date for the sale for a Friday in late April. The Thursday before the sale an email went to everybody at our location that the sale would be at 3pm the following day.

The next morning, in response to the many inquires, an email finally arrived. It was from the company controller. Nothing ccould be sold without the express permission of the office of the controller. Before the sale could commence, the controller needed have a complete list of all items in the sale.

An email went out to everybody located out here saying, “Yard Sale Postponed.”

Being very organized, my boss already had such a list, complete with asset tags and serial numbesr, for the items our department contributed. Other departments did not have anything resembling a list. Still, we had segregated the stuff by department, so if we had to sell theirs at another time, so be it.

The controller, when asked about pricing of the items for sale said he did not care about that, but that any money from the sale had to be sent to HQ to be accounted for. (Thus ended or usual plan which has traditionally been “Fund a lunch time BBQ out back with the proceeds.”) He said that facilities would set the prices.

Facilities, of course, had no interest in pricing anything and left that to us. Facilities did say, however, that we would need to collect sales tax.

My boss asked the controller about sales tax. The controller was not interested in sales tax, but directed him to some other accounting group.

My boss sent an email to this other accounting group asking about sales tax and if we could just charge round numbers ($5, $10, and $20) and then take the tax out later rather than having to make complicated change for each transaction.

The OAG (other accounting group) came back and said that charging round numbers sounded like a fine idea and certainly we could take the tax out after the fact. And, by the way, if we chose to sell anything for under its current market value, the purchasing employee’s W2 at the end of the year would have to be adjusted to indicate the financial benefit from such a transaction.

Market value? I guess this keeps companies from selling business jets, homes, and cars to their senior execs for cheap, but what is the market value of a 4 year old Pentium III 700MHz with an 18GB SCSI hard drive and no operating system? (All of the Windows operating systems were licensed under our MSDN agreement, so we had to erase them before we parted with the machines.) It has zero value to the company, we have depreciated it as a capital expense over the last few years. And how attractive does a $20 PIII system look if it might mean that it changes your W2 at the end of the year?

And while we were pondering this gem, an email came in from OAG2 (or is that OOAG?) who had been directed by the controller to account for all of the items on our list in the list of assets they have for our location. OAG2 sent us a spreadsheet with all of the purchase orders for the last six years listed and asked us to please indicate which item from our inventory matched up to which purchase order.

Our local accounting group never bothered to associate an asset tag or serial number when putting together this spreadsheet. But then, all of the local accounting people handed over their data to HQ as they got laid off at the end of March, so we cannot blame them. The list of purchase orders only showed vague items, like “computer systems” or, sometimes, just the vendor in the description field. There was no possible way that these two lists could be reconciled.

So my boss was just about ready to call the whole thing off and call up the computer recycler we had lined up to take away the remains and have him come over and cart off the whole lot. But even that needed to be approved.

I suggested shipping everything to HQ, since we cannot part with the stuff without approval, but he thought I was making a joke.

Silence followed. Not a word more came from HQ. This is not an unusual situation. HQ is frequently unaware of our existence.

Then, a few weeks later, an email showed up from the controller. The sale was approved. My boss just had to hand over any cash to our local HR representative.

Sale on!

In the end, very little of the stuff was sold. The dubious laptops were purchased for the boy scouts. A monitor or two was picked up. There was no mention of market value or W2s. No inventory reconciliation was demanded.

I think somebody did threaten to ship everything to HQ.

A week later the computer recycler came by and carted away all of our left over junk. And one of our coffee makers! Damn them!

  • The Company Move – Resolution – May 2024

I never did end up posting a final entry about the move, though I can assure we did, in fact, move.  We schelped our stuff from the corner of San Thomas and Walsh, where NVidia now resides, our old building just a memory, to downtown Mountain View and the old PayPal building at 303 Bryant.  It was a nice enough building, certainly better than our wretched old space at 2840 San Thomas.

The series so far:

Quote of the Day – Hilmar’s Ongoing Obsession

We’ve been really releasing some of the science fiction behind the game, which takes place around three black holes that are spinning around each other in a sort of a “three-body problem” with black holes.

-Hilmar Petursson, VentureBeat Interview

This interview had to be over at VentureBeat because I don’t think any serious video game news site takes the idea of blockchain based video games seriously.  But that is what VentureBeat is for, though even they have toned down the crypto puffery, having moved on to framing AI as the future of everything.  That AI is little more than a scam relative to the promises being made is not a coincidence.

Just wake up already

Anyway, we knew that Hilmar was into the blockchain thing because he had been ostentatiously hobnobbing with the crypto bros and shoving NFTs down people’s throats at the Alliance Tournament, to the point that it created such a backlash that he had to promise that blockchain would not be part of EVE Online… for the foreseeable future at least.  From a company that has a history of promises coming with unstated expiration dates, leaving the door open was ominous, but they have at least kept their word so far.

All of which is so much back story, but doesn’t really address the quote.  And, on its own, it doesn’t seem like much of a quote to get me riled up enough to make a post.  I mean, if I wanted wanted to get riled up I need go no further than the regular shitheel Mike Ybarra, who tried to inject himself into relevance again by declaring on Twitter that we should go easy on Microsoft Games/XBox head Phil Spencer after he killed more studios and laid off more staff because executives have feelings too.

Not to get too angry about this, but if you want to be the boss of a big organization that is going to close studios and lay people off, you better be up to the task of taking a bit of well warranted criticism because whatever in the hell else are you doing to earn that bloated compensation package.  Because you don’t actually MAKE anything or do anything on a day to day basis but make high level decisions that other people will implement.

You want to be the boss?  Then harden the fuck up.  Certainly don’t be a whiny bitch like Mike Ybarra.  Can we just put him in a ring with Mark Kern and have them battle over which “resting on extremely dubious laurels” contestant is the least relevant?  I don’t even care who would win, I just want their ignorance to stop showing up in my timeline.

You think I’ve gone off on a tangent here, don’t you?  Suddenly I’m all up about somebody who isn’t associated in any way with the quote at the top.  But you’re wrong!  It all ties together.

Because Hilmar is the head of CCP, so occupies that same role, being the captain who, if he isn’t actually steering the ship, is at least telling the helmsman the course to follow.  And when Hilmar gets a bad idea stuck in his head, he won’t let it go.

Which brings us to Project Awakening, the cryto game that CCP is making, though at least they are spending Marc Andressen’s money to do it, as a16z is in for $40 million to make this blockchain fantasy real.

I have a whole rambling post about Project Awakening and its source and implications, the former being a Hilmar obsession, the latter being a financial disaster, but we’ll let history judge on that should it ship.

What I did NOT expect was that a past Hilmar obsession… at least what I thought was a “past” obsession… would make an appearance in Project Awakening.  But there it is in that quote.  Hilmar was really fascinated by the book Three-Body Problem.

Somewhere I have a quote from him about how that book really inspired him and set him on a course to what became the “chaos era” of New Eden.  There is a whole tag dedicated to that and its effects if you click here and scroll down.

We got Drifters appearing and hitting player owned structures in null sec… mysteriously focusing on Delve at a time when we were burning down PanFam structures in Tribute… funny how that worked out… and then they were camping gates and then Hilmar wanted to stir the chaos era pot even further and initiated the null sec local blackout.

Local was delayed in null sec

That was a huge success… oh wait, I am holding the chart upside down… no, that led to the second lowest level of player logins in recent-ish memory.

Logins Crater with the Blackout Dip of 2019

The only bigger hit to player logins came with the industrial great leap forward when CCP absolutely wrecked the economy… once again, in the middle of a freaking war effectively ending by making capital ships too expensive to risk… leading to what I refer to as the Year of Disappointment, which was only broken when CCP relented a bit on the economy… though the mineral price index is still close to an all time high because their resource allocation program made certain minerals spawn only in low sec where miners are hunted relentlessly.

All of which you would think would be a lesson from which a company might learn.

But no, there is Hilmar up there referencing the Three-Body Problem again and, further on in the interview, talking about how the game takes place on a planet that is under the influence of three nearby black holes… something which he claims they are spending time modeling… which sounds to me like he is going whole hog on chaos again.

So if I wasn’t down enough on Project Awakening already for being blockchain based, which means it will, at a minimum, attract the type of people who like crypto due to the “get rich quick” allure of it, meaning even if it isn’t a scam, it will host scams before collapsing in on itself when it runs out of suckers, there is now the extra added level of Hilmar wanting to set things on fire right from the get-go.

There are currently zero crypto games that have been anything but brief successes before falling to the self-defeating logic of the idea that you can make money playing a video game over time.

But now the whole thing will be hamstrung by chaos.

Between that and EVE Vanguard, the fans of which have to keep saying “it’s only in alpha” as a defense of its lackluster showing so far, I wonder where CCP will be in five years.  I hope they get the upcoming Equinox expansion right and don’t mess up EVE: Galaxy Conquest, the other title they have in development.

Saying Good-Bye to Zwift as it Raises its Subscription to $20 a Month

I had already been wondering whether Zwift, the app I use to “gamify” my exercise bike usage, was worth the $15 a month fee it was charging.

Ride On?  Screw off!

If I had been more hardcore, a dedicated rider that used many of the features the app offers to keep myself in competitive shape, I might see some real value in the options Zwift offers.  But as a causal 2-3 day a week rider that basically uses two features and just likes the fact that it tracks my totals… well, there are cheaper alternatives out there I am sure.

So when I received the following message from Zwift this week I sprang into action.

We’re writing to inform you of changes to your Zwift Subscription pricing. The monthly Zwift subscription price will be increased to $19.99, plus applicable taxes.

Your first payment at the new price will be on your next billing date after June 6th.

We hope you’re enjoying your time on Zwift. We have worked hard to keep prices locked since 2017 and have made this change to allow us to continue making indoor cycling fun with more content experiences and product innovation.

And by “sprang into action” I mean I went straight to their site and cancelled my subscription.

Just to belabor the point I made above, the value proposition for Zwift relative to other $15 a month options… things that include our Valheim server rental, my WoW subscription, a number of streaming channels we might watch, or even my Daybreak all access subscription where I am doing little more than touring old zones in EverQuest… was dubious to start with.

Add in that I am already feeling quite a bit of subscription fatigue in the current economy where literally everything and everybody online is asking me to fork over a recurring subscription fee for content… and I get it, content costs money to make, but money is also a limited resource so I can’t give everybody money and still pay the mortgage… and I am suddenly pretty price sensitive.  Also, the price of everything is going up a lot faster than my salary since the pandemic.  Thanks to the magic of inflation and a decade of 1% raises, I effectively make less than I did fifteen years ago.

Anyway, Zwift is off the menu.  It was only inertia that kept me from cutting it previously.  The price increase just cemented my feelings about it.

They sent me a survey to ask why I cancelled and I was pretty clear that the price increase was the reason.  I am sure that will go into the bin as I have found that any company that makes a suddenly price increase without any warning it is coming has already convinced themselves that they are making the right decision and any complaints can be brushed away as outliers.

Of course, the funny thing is that if they decided tomorrow that the price hike was a huge mistake and they declared that they were rolling back to $15 a month, I wouldn’t go back.  I was bothered by the old price, but not enough to be moved to action.  But now that the price change has made me reflect on the value of Zwift, I wouldn’t go back, even at the old price.

It is generally a mistake to make users think too hard about the value your service offers.

Anyway, I am now in the market for an exercise app that works with the BlueTooth connection to our Schwinn IC4 exercise bike, preferably something without a recurring subscription model.  And if such a thing doesn’t exist, then I can just peddle away without an app.  I’ll just use the timer on my phone or listen to a podcast that is about the right length and not worry about it.

Play WoW Classic for Free from May 9th to May 13th

Blizzard would like to keep the WoW Classic party… and revenue stream… going, lest that team appear next on Phil Spencer’s every increasing list of layoff targets, and they need some help.

Can you re-run a cataclysm?

Having split WoW Classic into four different flavors at this point and facing the peril of the main thread heading into what was once considered one of the worst WoW expansions… at least until Shadowlands came along… with the coming of Cataclysm Classic, they really need some more people playing… and paying.  So they are giving it away for free, at least for the weekend.

Or at least that is my take.  Your mileage may vary.  Either way, WoW Classic is free to play for the weekend… but only the Cataclysm Classic flavor according to the news piece.  So come enjoy the pre-patch!

The instructions are:

Also, Blizzard would very much like you to buy some things and they have a new WoW Classic focused shop as a vehicle for your virtual good needs… again, they want to stay off of Spencer’s list, because the word is that he is far from done on his cutting spree.  But I guess they won’t need developers once they develop an AI that can do more than parlor tricks.

Related:

A Look into April 2024 Destruction in EVE Online

The April Monthly Economic Report for EVE Online landed this week, so it is time to dive into that once more.

EVE Online nerds harder

As usual, I am going to focus mostly on destruction. You can find things about the general New Eden economy here:

Overall Summary

With April we’re back to a 30 day month, so one might expect something of a drop in the total given that EVE Online players had 24 fewer hours to explode things.  But you would be wrong.  They managed to blow up 501,859 ships, structures, and capsules, a nearly 8K uptick from the 493,867 that went up in March.

That comes out to 16,728 losses per day in April, also a noticeable uptick over the 15,931 losses per day in March.  That is nearly 800 more things exploding every single day, though we’ll get to why that might not be as significant as the high level numbers might indicate… ans the come down starts when we get to ISK.

For ISK value a total of 42.48 trillion ISK was recorded as destroyed in April, down from 46.19 trillion in March, with the average ISK loss per day in April running at 1,415 billion ISK per day, down from 1,490 billion ISK per day the previous month.

That sank the average cost per loss, another metric in my spreadsheet, from 93.53 million ISK per loss to 84.64 million ISK per loss.

How did this happen?  I’ll throw a meme out for it and we’ll get into the details later.

It is an old meme, but it checks out

Okay, we’re now four months into the year and we’re now hitting a point where somebody has wrecked my pet theory that losses per day is a reasonable indicator of player activity in New Eden.  Ideally, my chart should correspond in some way to Jester’s daily rolling average chart.

Average Daily EVE Online Players – April 2024 Edition

Compare that to my average losses per day chart.

Average losses per Day – April 2024 Edition

At first glance the 2024 line appears to be following Jester’s 2024 line.  But his chart is a 30 day rolling average so it is still influenced by March numbers.  It won’t turn… or stay flat or dip a bit… until the May chart comes out.

Finally, for this section, there is the losses per day chart, which I usually trot our as a demonstration of the normal ebb and flow of New Eden destruction, peaking on weekends and dipping mid week, with ISK loss and hull count moving together.  But this month that last bit seems set to mock me.

April 2024 – Losses per day

Some very expensive ships were lost around the 5th of the month, as we see ISK losses spiking well above the loss count, while on the 22nd of the month the loss count spikes without a corresponding spike in ISK.  I refer you to the meme above for that, but I’ll have data to follow up on that.

Top 20 Most Frequent Losses by Class and Hull

Once more we kick off with the raw losses for the top categories.

Class  Count  % of Apr Hull  Count  % of Apr
Capsule        124,208 24.75% Capsule        122,765 24.46%
Shuttle           76,798 15.30% Caldari Shuttle           25,459 5.07%
Frigate           67,131 13.38% Amarr Shuttle           23,359 4.65%
Cruiser           39,431 7.86% Minmatar Shuttle           15,791 3.15%
Destroyer           33,680 6.71% Mobile Tractor Unit           12,640 2.52%
Corvette           18,438 3.67% Gallente Shuttle           11,408 2.27%
Combat Battlecruiser           16,621 3.31% Venture           10,812 2.15%
Mobile Tractor Unit           13,124 2.62% Ibis             8,329 1.66%
Interdictor           11,086 2.21% Heron             7,346 1.46%
Heavy Assault Cruiser             9,394 1.87% Vexor             6,659 1.33%
Hauler             8,732 1.74% Ishtar             6,484 1.29%
Battleship             8,351 1.66% Catalyst             5,071 1.01%
Interceptor             7,898 1.57% Algos             5,016 1.00%
Assault Frigate             7,541 1.50% Sabre             4,971 0.99%
Mobile Warp Disruptor             4,607 0.92% Exequror Navy Issue             4,914 0.98%
Tactical Destroyer             4,512 0.90% Thrasher             4,516 0.90%
Stealth Bomber             4,456 0.89% Velator             4,434 0.88%
Strategic Cruiser             4,237 0.84% Caracal             3,834 0.76%
Covert Ops             3,843 0.77% Cyclone Fleet Issue             3,360 0.67%
Mining Barge             3,842 0.77% Punisher             3,030 0.60%

Not for the last time in this post I am going to say something about shuttles.  Generally speaking, shuttles are in third place most months, behind the ever at the top capsules and the perennial second place entry, frigates as a class.  Last month, for example, shuttles rang in at 9.22% of the month’s total losses.  This month they surpassed 15%.

Hulls Lost only Once This Month

Once again I have filtered out all of the POS towers and modules… POS kills continue… and fighter squadrons and other odd and uninteresting… to me at least… kills to get to the more interesting stuff, with links to the kill on zKillboard… when possible.

Hull Count
Cybele 1
Hubris 1
Komodo 1
Laelaps 1
Leviathan 1
Miasmos Amastris Edition 1
Miasmos Quafe Ultra Edition 1
Sotiyo 1
Syndicate Mobile Large Warp Disruptor 1
Wyvern 1

We have some AT ships on the list this month, starting with the Cybele, an ATXIX reward ship, and only the second one recorded as lost, and the Laelaps, an ATXVI ship, which perished up in Vale of the Silent.

The Miasmos hulls, Amastris and Quafe Ultra editions, are hold overs from the Odyssey expansion.  The Amastris edition did not make it to zKillboard.  Somebody post that kill please.

The others on the list are a bit more commonplace, though the Komodo, the Guristas faction titan, is notable for its expense.  And the Syndicate Mobile Large War Disruptor… I haven’t seen one of those on the list before.  Over at zKillboard it records the last loss back in 2021.

Top 20 Total ISK Lost by Hull Type

Looking into that top hulls that made up the ISK losses in April.

Hull  Count  Sum of ISK Lost % of Apr ISK per Loss
Capsule        122,765 3,411.07 billion 8.030% 27.79 million
Vargur                836 1,998.61 billion 4.705% 2,390.68 million
Ishtar             6,484 1,761.58 billion 4.147% 271.68 million
Loki             1,704 1,363.79 billion 3.211% 800.35 million
Tengu             1,274 1,023.87 billion 2.410% 803.67 million
Paladin                482 942.44 billion 2.219% 1,955.28 million
Gila             1,648 836.01 billion 1.968% 507.29 million
Golem                365 786.64 billion 1.852% 2,155.19 million
Praxis             2,350 756.02 billion 1.780% 321.71 million
Fortizar                  58 673.33 billion 1.585% 11,609.12 million
Kronos                270 535.37 billion 1.260% 1,982.84 million
Proteus                687 529.73 billion 1.247% 771.08 million
Athanor                255 496.29 billion 1.168% 1,946.25 million
Nestor                185 488.45 billion 1.150% 2,640.27 million
Revelation                  98 466.15 billion 1.097% 4,756.59 million
Naglfar                111 459.36 billion 1.081% 4,138.38 million
Exequror Navy Issue             4,914 436.25 billion 1.027% 88.78 million
Legion                572 423.49 billion 0.997% 740.36 million
Bustard                350 389.81 billion 0.918% 1,113.75 million
Orca                245 380.74 billion 0.896% 1,554.03 million

Capsules, as always, top the list through sheer volume, even at a paltry average of 27.79 million ISK per loss.

This is becoming very much a “usual suspects” sort of chart every month.  Fortizar losses were up almost 50% over March, when 40 were blown up.  Dreads don’t make up much of the total, given the clash that happened in Abhazon in April… though I suspect those numbers will pop up a bit next time as there was a return clash there just this past week.

And I suppose it is a good thing that Capsuleer Day has come around again to replenish the Praxis supplies, as they keep blowing up at a substantial rate for a battleship.

Top 20 Regions by ISK and Hull Losses

The regions where losses were happening most.

Region Sum of ISK Lost % of Apr Region  Count  % of Apr
Pochven 2.626 trillion 6.18% The Forge        50,898 10.14%
The Citadel 2.061 trillion 4.85% Essence        26,036 5.19%
The Forge 1.979 trillion 4.66% Black Rise        21,477 4.28%
F-R00030 1.699 trillion 4.00% Pochven        21,453 4.27%
Genesis 1.577 trillion 3.71% Vale of the Silent        17,561 3.50%
Vale of the Silent 1.504 trillion 3.54% Lonetrek        17,344 3.46%
Delve 1.454 trillion 3.42% The Bleak Lands        17,340 3.46%
Catch 1.300 trillion 3.06% The Citadel        16,657 3.32%
Querious 1.062 trillion 2.50% Delve        15,128 3.01%
Perrigen Falls .955 trillion 2.25% Genesis        14,622 2.91%
Sinq Laison .954 trillion 2.25% Catch        14,316 2.85%
Essence .904 trillion 2.13% Querious        12,636 2.52%
Providence .899 trillion 2.12% Perrigen Falls        11,442 2.28%
Lonetrek .886 trillion 2.09% Verge Vendor        10,724 2.14%
Curse .857 trillion 2.02% Placid        10,396 2.07%
Devoid .829 trillion 1.95% F-R00030        10,348 2.06%
Fountain .777 trillion 1.83% Devoid           9,983 1.99%
Metropolis .712 trillion 1.68% Curse           9,655 1.92%
The Bleak Lands .692 trillion 1.63% Sinq Laison           9,289 1.85%
Immensea .590 trillion 1.39% Fountain           7,982 1.59%

Pochven continues to blow up the ISK chart.  I wish I had some direct insight into that.

Top 20 Systems by ISK and Hull Losses

Diving a little deeper into losses by location.

System Region Sum of ISK lost % of Apr System Region Count % of Apr
Ahbazon Genesis 1245.96 billion 2.933% Uitra The Forge 27446 5.469%
Jita The Forge 880.40 billion 2.073% Iwisoda Black Rise 15652 3.119%
Tama The Citadel 516.01 billion 1.215% Jita The Forge 13822 2.754%
Uedama The Citadel 468.77 billion 1.104% Ahbazon Genesis 11646 2.321%
Sivala The Citadel 457.76 billion 1.078% Heydieles Essence 9605 1.914%
G-0Q86 Curse 424.38 billion 0.999% Ouelletta Verge Vendor 7737 1.542%
Gheth Devoid 393.35 billion 0.926% Tama The Citadel 5559 1.108%
U-QVWD Catch 390.68 billion 0.920% Fliet Essence 5351 1.066%
J141434 F-R00030 354.36 billion 0.834% 4-HWWF Vale of the Silent 4473 0.891%
KBP7-G Providence 314.70 billion 0.741% Kourmonen The Bleak Lands 4195 0.836%
Heydieles Essence 304.20 billion 0.716% Kamela The Bleak Lands 3778 0.753%
4-HWWF Vale of the Silent 294.98 billion 0.694% Akiainavas Lonetrek 3680 0.733%
Sakenta Pochven 289.25 billion 0.681% MJ-5F9 Perrigen Falls 3104 0.619%
J104037 F-R00030 280.09 billion 0.659% Huola The Bleak Lands 3052 0.608%
Ignebaener Pochven 247.97 billion 0.584% G-0Q86 Curse 2987 0.595%
Otela Pochven 223.49 billion 0.526% J104037 F-R00030 2681 0.534%
MJ-5F9 Perrigen Falls 220.02 billion 0.518% Deven Essence 2558 0.510%
GM-0K7 Immensea 196.78 billion 0.463% Abune Essence 2525 0.503%
Kourmonen The Bleak Lands 196.27 billion 0.462% U-QVWD Catch 2416 0.481%
Skarkon Pochven 163.07 billion 0.384% K7D-II Querious 2227 0.444%

On the ISK side of the chart we can see the effects of the struggle over the Imperium Fortizar in Ahbazon, as losses there were 50% above perennial champion Jita.

Meanwhile, at the top of the count side of the chart is Uitra and whatever shuttle exploit has been going on there for months and months.

Once again it tops the total kill in a system list.  Here are the ships lost in Uitra in April.  As usual, shuttles dominate, with 22,626 destroyed in the system, almost one third of all shuttles destroyed in New Eden in April.

Hull  Count  Sum of ISK Lost
Caldari Shuttle           9,260 201.32 million
Amarr Shuttle           7,576 159.84 million
Gallente Shuttle           3,160 44.45 million
Minmatar Shuttle           2,630 45.06 million
Capsule           2,473 248.15 million
Ibis           2,099 210.00 million
Reaper              104 10.56 million
Velator                45 3.95 million
Impairor                35 3.53 million
Merlin                24 11.64 million
Bantam                  8 1.24 million
Venture                  8 9.11 million
Gnosis                  7 406.80 million
Cormorant                  6 7.66 million
Badger                  3 2.12 million
Condor                  2 .81 million
Corax                  1 1.91 million
Griffin                  1 .34 million
Heron                  1 .68 million
Incursus                  1 .26 million
Tristan                  1 1.35 million
Vexor                  1 7.94 million

However, in Black Rise, the system of Iwisoda emerged as a new locus of shuttle destruction in April.   Is the Uitra scam… or whatever it is… expanding?  Oh no, this is something completely different.

Here are the ship loss totals for Iwisoda in April broken out by hull.

Hull  Count  Sum of ISK lost
Minmatar Shuttle        7,733 125.02 million
Amarr Shuttle        5,128 106.04 million
Caldari Shuttle        2,770 61.38 million
Gallente Shuttle                9 .12 million
Capsule                4 .00 million
Dragoon                2 10.30 million
Venture                2 14.62 million
Heron                1 .76 million
Myrmidon                1 63.99 million
Prospect                1 41.25 million
Raitaru                1 818.11 million

That is a good 15,640 shuttles destroyed, about 20% of the shuttles lost in New Eden in April.  So the two systems together fall just shy of accounting for half the shuttles in April, ringing in at 49.82% of the total.

In Uitra though, the shuttle losses, if you look over at DOTLAN EVE Maps, are spread out pretty evenly across the month.  I Iwisoda, everything happened in a very short span of time, around which there was very little activity.

The destruction chart for Iwisoda – Apr 21 through 24

What apparently happened was that Snuffed Out, making mischief in low sec as usual, decided to fiddle somebody’s kill board by putting up a Raitaru, delivering 15,640 shuttles to that individual, then blowing up the Raitaru while it was in a state where asset safety would not engage.  That deposited all those shuttles out into space where they destroyed them.  The kills count against the person to whom they were delivered.

Now, the killdump.csv file, CCP’s official output of losses that comes with the MER, does not include individual pilot data.  Corps and alliances are all you get.  So with that data I could only tell you that Stay Frosty lost 15,640 shuttles in Iwisoda, eclipsing any of the regulars in Uitra by a fair margin.

Class Count System Victim Corp
Shuttle 15,640 Iwisoda Stay Frosty.
Shuttle 3,222 Uitra Trata de Clones
Shuttle 3,058 Uitra SPKur
Shuttle 2,235 Uitra OldGangsta Association
Shuttle 1,930 Korama Monster Raving Loonies
Shuttle 1,742 Uitra Red Spider Nebula
Shuttle 1,385 Akiainavas Science and Trade Institute
Shuttle 1,279 Uitra The Hunter’s Nightmare
Shuttle 1,167 Uitra The-Blazing-Phoenix
Shuttle 1,027 Uitra State Protectorate

However, I observed the goings on over on Twitter where Rixx Javix, CEO of Stay Frosty, spent several days posting cat pictures and telling people he was totally not bothered by some in-game incident.  Then he wrote a blog post about it where he wanted this “loop-hole” addressed.  You can judge for yourself whether it really bothered him or not.  I certainly cannot speak to his state of mind.

But yes, if you go to the Iwisoda page over on zKillboard currently, there are bunch of shuttle losses with his name on them, with Snuffed Out as the killer.  The system is otherwise not very active, so those will be there for a while.

A sample from the Iwisoda kills

They are all flagged as “padding” now, so they do not affect his kill board.  I suspect that this is somehow related to why the corps in Uitra don’t go all in on destruction, though I still haven’t figured out their game and how it benefits them.

Anyway, you can totally see that spike in losses on my kills per day chart up at the top, where losses spike while ISK is actually down.

Meanwhile, that “loop-hole” has been around for ages and I have seen it used before.  I first documented it here with the Fort Knocks Keepstar kill in December 2018, when somebody delivered a ton of Bantam frigates to Doomchincilla which all popped up on his zKillboad totals.

The PL killboard sullied with all those frigates

The “loop-hole” in question was put in place to stop a different sort of abuse.  When citadels came into the game people would create courier contracts that would send people to structures where they had no access, so they could not complete the contracts… and sometimes got ganked for the effort.  So CCP created a delivery mechanic to solve that, which assigned ownership to the recipient of the delivery, something that has been abused now and then ever since.

All of which I guess shows that a few dedicated individuals can mess with the destruction stats by blowing up shuttles… messing up my average kills per day metric by basically exploding about 30K more shuttles than expected (the March total was 45,547 while April saw 76,798 shuttles pop) while other ship class losses, such as capsules and frigate, were actually down for the month.

Systems with Just One Recorded Loss

We got a story out of the data this month, so a less dull post than usual I guess.  But in digging through the system level data I was a bit surprised to see how many systems recorded just ONE LOSS in the month of April.

I mean, there are a lot of systems in New Eden, and 7,486 saw at least something blow up.  I suspect there is a range of systems out there were no ships blew up, but they don’t make the data set.

So just to make this post super extra long, here are the 392 systems where exactly one ship was recorded lost by CCP… though this data does not 100% agree with what appears on zKillboard.

System Region Count
0NV-YU Great Wildlands 1
0PI4-E Great Wildlands 1
0R-GZQ Great Wildlands 1
0RI-OV Wicked Creek 1
2EV-BA Outer Passage 1
2IBE-N Venal 1
2-Q4YG Insmother 1
2X7Z-L Great Wildlands 1
3ET-G8 The Spire 1
3L3N-X Tenerifis 1
3-LJW3 Detorid 1
4HF-4R The Spire 1
4M-P1I Great Wildlands 1
4M-QXK Insmother 1
4S0-NP Cache 1
4T-VDE Cobalt Edge 1
5E6I-W Cobalt Edge 1
6U-1RX The Spire 1
77-KDQ Cloud Ring 1
88A-RA Insmother 1
89-JPE Etherium Reach 1
8AB-Q4 Malpais 1
8-BIE3 Cache 1
9T-APQ Paragon Soul 1
9U-TTJ Syndicate 1
9Z-XJN Outer Passage 1
A-80UA Scalding Pass 1
Abaim Domain 1
Abhan Genesis 1
Abrat Metropolis 1
AD146 ADR04 1
AD148 ADR04 1
Adahum Tash-Murkon 1
Adia Domain 1
Adiere Sinq Laison 1
Aere Essence 1
Agtver Metropolis 1
Ahrosseas Tash-Murkon 1
Airshaz Domain 1
Aivoli Lonetrek 1
Akes Devoid 1
Akpivem Derelik 1
Algasienan Placid 1
Alra Tash-Murkon 1
Andabiar Domain 1
Annad Kor-Azor 1
Annages Essence 1
Appen Heimatar 1
Arasare Solitude 1
Ardishapur Prime Domain 1
Arkoz Tash-Murkon 1
Arlulf Metropolis 1
Assiad Tash-Murkon 1
Atier Sinq Laison 1
Austraka Heimatar 1
Avele Everyshore 1
Bahromab Domain 1
BB-EKF Tenerifis 1
BJ-ZFD Feythabolis 1
Bongveber Metropolis 1
B-ROFP Great Wildlands 1
BRT-OP Great Wildlands 1
Chesoh Domain 1
CJNF-J Immensea 1
Claysson Sinq Laison 1
CLW-SI Malpais 1
Colcer Everyshore 1
Dakba Domain 1
Datulen Metropolis 1
DE71-9 Great Wildlands 1
DK0-N8 Cobalt Edge 1
Dodenvale Sinq Laison 1
EA-HSA Immensea 1
Edmalbrurdus Heimatar 1
Egmur Heimatar 1
Enedore Everyshore 1
Faktun Devoid 1
Fanathor Khanid 1
Feshur Aridia 1
Finid Kador 1
FO1U-K The Spire 1
Fovihi Derelik 1
FRTC-5 Immensea 1
Furskeshin The Bleak Lands 1
FVXK-D Great Wildlands 1
FYI-49 Immensea 1
G063-U Wicked Creek 1
GA-2V7 Outer Ring 1
Geffur Metropolis 1
Ghishul Tash-Murkon 1
Gisleres Verge Vendor 1
GPD5-0 Wicked Creek 1
GR-X26 Detorid 1
G-VFVB The Spire 1
HAJ-DQ Esoteria 1
Hakodan The Bleak Lands 1
Hakshma Devoid 1
Halenan Devoid 1
Hasiari Derelik 1
Hath Tash-Murkon 1
Hatori The Bleak Lands 1
Hecarrin Essence 1
HF-K3O Oasa 1
H-HWQR Tenerifis 1
Hitanishio Lonetrek 1
Hjortur Metropolis 1
Horaka Molden Heath 1
H-T40Z Esoteria 1
HZID-J Outer Passage 1
Ibaria Derelik 1
IBOX-2 Malpais 1
Ichinumi Lonetrek 1
Iffrue Placid 1
IL-H0A Etherium Reach 1
Iluin Metropolis 1
Immuri Black Rise 1
Inghenges Sinq Laison 1
IP-MVJ Stain 1
Isamm Domain 1
Iswa Tash-Murkon 1
Ithar Kador 1
J000427 H-R00032 1
J000461 H-R00032 1
J000487 H-R00032 1
J000522 H-R00032 1
J000551 H-R00032 1
J000687 H-R00032 1
J000895 H-R00032 1
J000965 H-R00032 1
J004317 A-R00001 1
J005299 D-R00016 1
J011376 D-R00016 1
J012157 A-R00001 1
J100046 D-R00016 1
J100142 D-R00020 1
J100616 E-R00027 1
J100808 B-R00006 1
J101441 B-R00008 1
J102005 A-R00003 1
J102045 D-R00021 1
J102736 E-R00025 1
J102834 F-R00030 1
J103242 D-R00019 1
J104210 B-R00005 1
J104502 D-R00019 1
J104624 D-R00020 1
J110938 E-R00025 1
J111918 F-R00030 1
J112450 D-R00020 1
J112610 D-R00016 1
J112956 B-R00006 1
J113050 A-R00002 1
J113227 D-R00020 1
J113230 B-R00004 1
J113420 C-R00010 1
J113434 A-R00001 1
J113449 B-R00007 1
J113727 D-R00019 1
J113918 A-R00003 1
J114308 B-R00008 1
J114540 A-R00001 1
J114700 A-R00001 1
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J125428 A-R00001 1
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J132740 D-R00022 1
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J140717 E-R00024 1
J141239 A-R00001 1
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J142038 C-R00010 1
J142355 D-R00018 1
J142918 B-R00006 1
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J144131 D-R00021 1
J144450 A-R00001 1
J144751 C-R00013 1
J145349 E-R00028 1
J145848 D-R00021 1
J150135 C-R00014 1
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J150625 D-R00022 1
J150629 A-R00002 1
J150754 B-R00008 1
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J151057 E-R00024 1
J151353 D-R00019 1
J152034 E-R00027 1
J152502 D-R00023 1
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J223855 A-R00002 1
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J225111 D-R00021 1
J233359 A-R00002 1
J233449 D-R00023 1
J234722 E-R00029 1
J235525 B-R00008 1
J94-MU Feythabolis 1
Jaswelu Domain 1
JE1-36 Geminate 1
Jennim Kador 1
Jondik Metropolis 1
Joramok Kador 1
Junsen The Bleak Lands 1
JVA-FE The Spire 1
K4UV-G Outer Passage 1
Kadlina Molden Heath 1
Kahah Khanid 1
Klir Heimatar 1
Kronsur Heimatar 1
KS8G-M The Spire 1
KW-1MV Tenal 1
K-XJJT The Spire 1
L-5JCJ Immensea 1
Laah The Citadel 1
Larkugei Heimatar 1
Lirerim Metropolis 1
Liukikka Lonetrek 1
LK1K-5 Immensea 1
L-P3XM Tenal 1
Lulm Heimatar 1
Luse Verge Vendor 1
LXTC-S Great Wildlands 1
L-ZJLN Etherium Reach 1
M1-PX9 Outer Passage 1
M-4KDB Tenerifis 1
M4U-EH Outer Passage 1
Masalle Verge Vendor 1
Matyas Tash-Murkon 1
Meimungen Metropolis 1
MO-I1W Etherium Reach 1
Mosson Everyshore 1
Motsu The Citadel 1
Moussou Domain 1
MWA-5Q Wicked Creek 1
N-6Z8B Great Wildlands 1
Naeel Devoid 1
Nafrivik Tash-Murkon 1
Nare Kor-Azor 1
Nazhgete Derelik 1
Neburab Kador 1
Ney Sinq Laison 1
NHKO-4 Outer Passage 1
Nishah Kor-Azor 1
NRD-5Q Malpais 1
O36A-P Tenal 1
Octanneve Solitude 1
Offugen Heimatar 1
Oirtlair Sinq Laison 1
Ommaerrer Placid 1
PA-ALN Perrigen Falls 1
Pahineh Aridia 1
Pedel Domain 1
Postouvin Solitude 1
Psasa Derelik 1
Q1U-IU Tenal 1
Q7E-DU Outer Passage 1
Q-ITV5 Oasa 1
QQGH-G The Spire 1
QZ-DIZ Oasa 1
R-6KYM Etherium Reach 1
Radima Derelik 1
Rand Tash-Murkon 1
Raneilles Verge Vendor 1
Rashy Derelik 1
Rasile Domain 1
Roniko Heimatar 1
Ronne The Bleak Lands 1
Roua Geminate 1
RSE-PT Malpais 1
Rumida Tash-Murkon 1
RWML-A Malpais 1
RZ3O-K Perrigen Falls 1
Safilbab Tash-Murkon 1
Sahdil Domain 1
SBEN-Q Cobalt Edge 1
Seshi Genesis 1
Shenda Aridia 1
Sheri Aridia 1
Shousran Tash-Murkon 1
SL-YBS Great Wildlands 1
SON-TW Oasa 1
Sortet Verge Vendor 1
Sota Aridia 1
Sucha Derelik 1
S-W8CF Cobalt Edge 1
T-4H0B Malpais 1
Telang Kador 1
Timeor Derelik 1
Todeko Heimatar 1
Todrir Metropolis 1
Toustain Solitude 1
TP-APY Malpais 1
Tuomuta The Bleak Lands 1
T-Z6J2 Outer Ring 1
T-ZFID Paragon Soul 1
UEPO-D Outer Passage 1
Uesuro Lonetrek 1
Uhodoh Tash-Murkon 1
U-IVGH Scalding Pass 1
UK-SHL Impass 1
UMDQ-6 Great Wildlands 1
Urnhard Metropolis 1
Ustnia Kador 1
V-146 VR-04 1
V-JCJS Malpais 1
VL3I-M Branch 1
VNGJ-U Feythabolis 1
W2F-ZH Outer Ring 1
WFYM-0 Impass 1
WIO-OL Outer Passage 1
Wirdalen Metropolis 1
WPR-EI Great Wildlands 1
W-QN5X Wicked Creek 1
WRL4-2 Wicked Creek 1
WVJU-4 Malpais 1
XCF-8N Deklein 1
XEN7-0 Wicked Creek 1
XR-ZL7 The Spire 1
X-Z4JW Oasa 1
Y-770C Oasa 1
Y7-XFD Great Wildlands 1
Yeeramoun Domain 1
YG-82V Branch 1
Y-MSJN Omist 1
Yona Essence 1
YRV-MZ Esoteria 1
YUY-LM Great Wildlands 1
Yvaeroure Solitude 1
Zaid Derelik 1
Zehru Tash-Murkon 1
Zemalu Derelik 1
Zet Derelik 1
Z-H2MA Immensea 1
ZH-GKG Wicked Creek 1
Zinkon Kor-Azor 1
Zith Tash-Murkon 1
ZJQH-S Outer Ring 1
Z-LO6I Tenal 1
ZXOG-O Feythabolis 1

We shall see what the May stats will bring.

EverQuest to offer Level 50 Boosts, Supplementing the Level 85 and Level 100 Boosts

EverQuest’s insta levels scheme, the Heroic Character options in the cash shop, will have a new variation next week that will prove once again how out of touch I am with the meta in Norrath.

It says EverQuest on it…

Starting on May 15th you will be able to buy a level 50 Heroic Character upgrade for 2,500 Daybreak Points.  Given that those points cost about a penny each, that is effectively $25 to get to level 50… in an MMORPG where the level cap is 125.

This joins the $35 level 85 Heroic Character option, which has been around since 2014, and the $40 level 100 Heroic Character option that was introduced in 2022.

As has been patiently explained to me, the meta in EverQuest is different and apparently nobody wants to get into the current content, preferring to jump in to content that is 5-10 years in the past… and with the level 50 option, content that is a good 24 years old, since the level cap was raised from 50 to 60 with the Ruins of Kunark expansion back in April of 2000.

Or maybe they want to jump straight to the original raids that came with launch 25 years back.  I couldn’t tell you.  I am clearly on the outside looking in.

That out of the way, what is it you get for your $25?  The announcement says:

  • 2,500 Platinum
  • Horse Mount (Fast Speed)
  • Two 16-Slot Bags
  • Spells
  • Full Set of Equipment, including weapons, armor, and a charm
  • Food, Drink, and Ammunition

I mean, that isn’t nothing.  It is certainly more than you would end up with if you rolled up a fresh character and ran to level 50… and I can at least speak from experience on that front, having done just that back at the 20th anniversary.

But it also is not a lot.  That much platinum in the mudflation hellscape that has been Norrath for the last 20 years will keep your mercenary paid for, but won’t buy you anything nice at the bazaar.  You would be better served buying some Krono and selling that at the bazaar… if you can figure that out, which is an adventure in and of itself compared to selling PLEX in EVE Online or WoW Tokens in World of Warcraft… and netting high six seven figures in platinum.  I haven’t checked recently, but the last time I did it the price of Krono was only capped by the maximum sell price at the bazaar.

The only upside I can think of is if you don’t want to bother with the grind from 1 to 50… which is a barren and lonely journey in the original content, and still pretty sterile in the alternative, which is The Serpent Spine content… but you don’t want to be completely overwhelmed by suddenly gaining 600+ spells and 14K AA points, which was the case when I collected my free level 100 heroic character last month.

I kid you not on the spell thing.

The spell book at page 86 with 8 spells per page…

And maybe that is enough of a hook… though, maybe not as much as you might think.  Going and looking at all the druid spells available on current live servers at level 50 and you come out with well over 300 spells possible.  You don’t need them all, and a bunch were added by later expansions, but I suspect you will get them all when you do your heroic upgrade.

I mean, half as many spells… 40-ish pages in you spell book versus 80+ pages… is better I guess.  It is still going to be overwhelming given a UI that was built on the idea that you might have 80 spells… 10 pages… with a spell heavy class like a druid back at launch.

Anyway, if this was what you were looking for in Norrath… well, it will be here soon!

Related:

Just a Sap in the Mistlands

As I mentioned last time around, I had finally found an infected mine, almost completely due to using a mod that removed the mist in the Mistlands, and managed to get a few of the critical black cores needed to make the new crafting stations.

But I quickly realized I needed sap from the Mistlands, which meant making sap extractors to tap the glowing roots in the biome.  Those require a Dvergr extractor to make.  Potshot had collected two of those, as he isn’t all that fond of the Dvergr.  So I took the portal out to our base, grabbed those, and sailed back to our main base, those extractors bing on the no fly list for portals.

It was a two day trip, in part because the Mistlands are generally pretty far from the initial spawn point and in part because I forgot to get the Moder buff that lets you set the wind direction, so I spent a lot of time put-putting along powered only by the motion of the tiller.

When I arrived back at base and got things together, I realized that you didn’t build sap extractors at the forge or work bench, but with the building hammer, which required the Dvergr extractors and some refined black metal, which also cannot go through portals.

So I had to get back in the boat and sail all the way back to our first Mistlands base, though I did at least remember to get the Moder buff this time around so I would be prepared for the wind’s inevitable betrayal.

Back where I started, having taken one sailing trip more than I needed, I had the ingredients in hand and went out to scout out some of the glowing roots I had seen previously.  After making a work bend I was able to make one to tap one of the roots.

Sap Extractor Deployed

After that, it is the waiting game.  The collector slowly harvests 10 units of sap.  You can see when they are chugging away.

Collectors working… the green glow means they have something

When you click on the collector and it has some sap in it, it drops the sap on the ground in nice little containers.

A bounty of sap

Since we have the server set to double resources on collection, when the extractor says it has 10 units of sap in it, when I click on it out pops 20 units worth.  That helps speed things along.

The extractors are, of course, structures and do sometimes attract the locals.  I found one of my extractors reduced to its resources a couple of times.  This was due to my being in the area, so mobs were active, and somebody went after it.

There it is, all over the floor

I was around because I was looking for another infested mine so I could fish up some more dark cores.  Now that I had sap I needed five more of those in order to make the next item on the list, the Eitr refinery.

I did eventually find another mine and, cores in hand, was able to build the refinery.

The Eitr Refinery in action

The refinery is big and needs to be built outside.  I learned that it should also be built away from buildings or other items that can take damage as Eitr and the mechanism that refines it throws out sparks that damage anything it hits.  We have a couple of holes in our structure now I need to patch up.

To set the refinery in motion you feed sap into the lower part and then soft tissue into a grinder-like element up at the top… you can see I built a ladder so I could get up there… and off it goes, sputtering and throwing sparks and disgorging glowing green balls of Eitr.

The sap extractor and the Eitr process both need things that you only get by basically destroying the local Dvergr camps.  I have tended to let the Dvergr be as they fight the local hostile mobs for me.  But now that they are a source of needed materials… well, sorry Dvergr.

So on I go in the Mistlands, which I am going to say, once again, are much better now that all that damn mist has been removed.

Views you don’t get when you go full mist. Never go full mist.

Yes, this isn’t how Iron Gate intended me to play, but that is now I am playing.

EverQuest Starting Points – Greater Faydark, Where the Elves Are

Greater Faydark is another one of those square zones, though unlike its neighboring zone, the Butcherblock Mountains, it is not divided up by a bunch of mountains to try and segment it or channel players in specific directions.  It is a big open square… that also happens to have one of the starter cities in it.

Unlike most of the other racial starting points, the wood elves start in Kelethin in the middle of a big square zone.  Once more to the Project 1999 wiki for a map.

Greater Faydark Map

The map legend:

  • 1. Orc Camps
  • 2. Abandoned Druid Ring
  • 3. Bandit Camp
  • 4. Wizard Spires
  • 5. Priest of Discord Lift
  • 6. Newbie Lift
  • 7. Orc Lift

There isn’t a lot going on in Greater Faydark.  Well, not at ground level.  That is because in the middle of the zone, up in the trees, is the city of Kelethin.  Time for another map.

Kelethin map

The legend for that map:

  • 1. Abandoned Platform with Loom
  • 2. Lift to ground – “Orc Lift,” Merchants selling Food and other Goods and Pottery Sketches, Inn
  • 3. Merchants selling Elven Food Items, Food, and other Goods
  • 4. Tavern selling Alcohol, Merchant selling Plate Armor
  • 5. Merchants selling Racial Alcohol, Common Gems
  • 6. Abandoned Platform
  • 7. Tavern selling Alcohol, Merchant selling Plate Armor
  • 8.-Upper (connects to platforms 5, 6, and 7) Sparkling Glass with Merchant selling Metals and Rare Gems, Merchants selling Elven Food, Oven
  • 8.-Lower (connects to platforms 3 and 11) Pottery and Fletching Supply Merchants, Warrior Guild
  • 9. Heartwood Tavern selling Alcohol
  • 10. Hut selling Food and other Goods, connected platform has Tavern selling Alcohol
  • 11. “Priest of Discord Lift aka PoD Lift,” Merchants selling Medium Armor Molds, Sheet Metal, Food and other Goods
  • 12. Bank, Merchant selling Potions and Crystals
  • 13. Platform with Rangers
  • 14.-Upper (connects to platform 13) Abandoned Platform
  • 14.-Lower (connects to platforms 11 and 15) Packwearers Goods selling Bags and Boxes, Bard Guild across bridge
  • 15. Newbie Lift, Merchants selling Food, Milk and other Goods, Large Sewing Kit, tailoring patterns and instructions
  • 16. Faydark’s Champions – Ranger Guild
  • 17. Inn with Innkeep Wuleran selling Food and other Goods, Forge, Merchant selling Potions and Crystals, Chain Mail Patterns, Weapons Outside on the Platform “Merchant Winerasea” Sells Bows for about 3pp each
  • 18. Merchant selling Leather Armor and Sewing Patterns, Merchant in hut selling Bags and Boxes
  • 19. Inn selling Food, including Muffins and other Goods
  • 20. Shop selling Smithing Books and Container, Weapon, and File Molds, Merchant selling Cloth Armor, Pottery Wheel and Kiln
  • 21. Soldiers of Tunare – Druid Guild, Brew Barrel, bridge connects to Bilrio’s Smithy selling Sharp and Blunt Weapons
  • 22. Merchants selling Chain Mail Armor and Boots, also Fier’Dal Forge
  • 23. Scouts of Tunare – Rogue Guild, sells Throwing Weapons
  • 24. Trueshot Bows selling Fletching (arrow) Supplies, Merchants selling Fletching (bows) Supplies, Tavern selling Alcohol and Ranger Spells

Kelethin has a lot going on, enough to do for a whole zone, so it isn’t surprising they didn’t spend a lot of time populating or doing much special with the rest of Greater Faydark.

Also, you might have seen me kvetch about the drowning hazards in Qeynos.  Well, that is nothing compared to the falling hazard that is Kelethin.  Wood elves don’t need guard rails it seems.  The place is a bunch of wooden platforms in the trees.

Up in Kelethin

For cool factor, it is hard to beat Kelethin.  It looks really neat.

For ease of use however… not so much.  Remembering which of the identical platforms or buildings is the right landmark, how to get from point A to point B, the falling hazard, and the fact that those ramps are completely hidden until you get right to the edge of the platform make for some challenges.

Getting up to the city requires you find the elevator.  Fortunately it has a guard to keep the hostiles wandering Greater Faydark at bay.

The elevator

The button on the elevator is odd… though it had to be big and obvious so players would know what to do I suppose.  Fortunately, it acts like an elevator button and not a direct control, so people can’t undo your button press…. because you know people would.

Then, over in the south east corner of Greater Faydark is the entrance to Felwithe, home of the high elves.

After going all out on the wood elf tree fort, the devs kind of went a little lighter on the high elf home.  They’re high elves, they don’t have anything to prove.  So the facade of their home looks like one of the settings from the Small World ride at Disneyland.  That is literally where my mind goes every time I see it.

I can hear them singing, in their high pitch voices…

It is a sizable city.  Again, you can feel how the half elves got short changed with their meager Surefall Glades home.

Once again, to the maps at the Project 1999 wiki, starting with the north part of the city, where you enter from Greater Faydark

North Felwithe

The legend for that map:

  • 1. Paladin Guild – Merchant selling Weapons, Priest of Discord, Secret Tunnels to Ramparts
  • 2. Tovanik’s Venom – Merchant selling Alcohol, Brew Barrel
  • 3. Traveller’s Home – Inn
  • 4. Shop of All Holds – Merchants selling Food, Bags, Cloth Armor, Gems, Mithril Ore and Chainmail Patterns.
  • 5. Beyond Faydark – Merchant selling Food and other goods.
  • 6. Cleric Guild – Merchants selling Blunt Weapons.
  • 7. Faydark’s Bane – Merchants selling Swords, Fletching and Sewing Kits, Fletching Supplies, Leather Armor and Patterns, Pottery Wheel and Kiln outside
  • 8. Emerald Armor – Merchants selling Chain/Plate Armor, Weapons, Shields, Smithing Molds, Koada’Dal Forge inside
  • 9. Felwithe Keeper – Bank
  • 10. Bait and Tackle – Merchant selling Fishing Supplies
  • 11. Felwithe Fish House – Merchant sells Food and Drinks, outside Merchant sells Jewelry Supplies (Rare Gems), Oven outside.

And then there is South Felwithe, which is oddly to the north due to map orientation.

South Felwithe

The legend for that map:

  • 1. Teleporter Room to and from Guild Halls
  • 2. Wizard Guild – Merchants selling Wizard spells
  • 3. Magician Guild – Merchants selling Magician spells
  • 4. Enchanter Guild – Merchants selling Enchanter spells and reagents.
  • 5. Merchants selling Cloth Armor and Sewing Kits, Jewelry Supplies (Common Gems), Common Spells, Potions and Crystals, Loom inside

For size or complexity it doesn’t rival Freeport or Qeynos, but it is pretty big among the home cities in the game.

As for style, it feels like Qeynos in a foggy, sunlit canyon.

Welcome to Felwithe, says the rat catcher

You can see the exterminator right out front asking you to go and collect him the remains to ten rats.  He doesn’t just ask you to kill ten rats, he wants proof dammit.

Felwithe has some unique buildings, coloration, and guard uniforms.

I forget who lives in this bird house

But it also has some buildings that are identical to ones in Qeynos, save for the fact that they added about 200% more ivy to the texture pattern applied to them… or maybe those are climbing roses.

I have seen these structures in Qeynos

I do not have any particularly interesting anecdotes… or any anecdotes really… about either of these starting cities.  I never made a high elf, and the wood elf I made moved to Freeport pretty quickly as I recall.

Kelethin stands out for being unique among starting towns, while Felwithe… well, like I said, the high elves don’t feel like they have anything to prove.

Even Greater Faydark doesn’t do much for me.  I know Crushbone is there, and we’ll get to that I suppose, if I keep going, but our group never really went there.

The tales so far:

The Special Business Unit

In which unqualified people inflict absolutely the dumbest ideas on us.

The story so far was that Edify had been bought by web banking competitor S1 Corporation, which in turn destroyed out web banking product in hopes of making our customers move to their platform, the major flaw in that plan being their product was garbage and their promised platform never seemed to materialize.  I think we changed 401k plan providers more often than S1 even did patch updates.  They were not good at the whole software thing.

The IVR side of the house was stuck into a building on San Thomas Expressway that is now gone, replaced by one of the big, swoopy NVidia buildings, declared the “special business unit” and left to fend for itself… but not before hanging a giant anchor around our neck in the form of the VP of sales, who was made CEO of the new unit.

Pretty sure we failed on all points…

I suppose the main lesson from this is never put the sales people in charge of a tech company.

The sales team is always somewhat at odds with the developers in an enterprise software organization.  They have quotas to hit and they get flustered because customers always want special features and they will promise anything to get them to sign on the bottom line.  And then they would show up asking for the feature they promised.  Sometimes it wasn’t so bad.  Sometimes it was insane.

It happened so often that back before the merger there was a limit set on a deal size before somebody could request a feature.  The potential deal had to be at least $6 million in size… and, suddenly, every deal that was being sized was potentially $6 million so the queue of feature requests, never slowed.  We used to joke that we should build up a price list based on all the features we didn’t have in the hope that the sales team would actually sell something we did have, their need to go off-menu being so reliable.

Anyway, they put Joe, a corpulent, red faced buffoon in charge of us and he set about creating a kingdom of his liking.  He wasn’t mean or nasty or anything.  He was quite friendly and jovial and people generally liked him as a person.  Joe was a nice guy in front of everybody.  He wanted to be liked.

But he was like the Moll Flanders husband who keeps living beyond his means while trying to get everybody on board to enjoy the party before it all comes crashing down.  And there were parties.  Many parties.  It was a hallmark of his era.  I don’t think he actually fled the company in the end by jumping out of a back window and riding off into the night, but I like to imagine that is how it went.  Anyway, Joe went straight to work screwing things up.

One of the first things he did for his sales team is start paying commissions when deals were put in the queue but not yet signed.  This led to a HUGE boost in unsigned deals in the backlog because the sales team was now incentivized to get customers there even if they had no hope in hell of actually closing a deal.  And that was easy enough to do.  You just tell the customer you want to get them in the queue but they don’t have to commit and they’ll go along.

That eventually had to be rolled back because it was patently dumb, so obviously so that I thought somebody was joking when they told me about it.  My first question was, “We’re paying commissions for not closing deals now?” and we were!

Our buffoon CEO also pushed our facilities guy… who was one of those people who signed up for every task offered until they were in way over their head and then commenced to make lame excuses as they failed to deliver on anything or meet any date… to sign a five year lease on our building because we were at the peak of the dotcom boom and rents were going up and the CEO, like sales people everywhere, thought the line would never stop going up so wanted to lock us in as projected rents might double or triple over five years given the behavior of the last couple.

Instead the dotcom bubble burst and as soon as a year later buildings in our complex were going for less than half of what we were paying and would continue to decline as 9/11 hit the economy.

Our CEO also wanted the company to become a leader in technology so signed a deal with an overseas university in a city that happened to correspond with where family lived so his trips were all business expenses, with first class airfare paid for by the company, to work on foundational research in speech technology.

This is something a giant, successful company can afford to do.  IBM did it back in the day, Lucent or Microsoft or Apple could manage it, and now big names like NVidia go there to keep their edge in the market.  A little company like Edify… we had no business doing that.

We also bought seats on the VXML Forum and SIP Forum standards committees… again, not something a little player like us should have ever done.  Lucent, Nuance, and SpeechWorks had bought in too hard before we showed up and the whole thing was about them squabbling of changes that would give one of them an advantage over the other two.

So we kept spending money even as sales were flattening out with the post-dotcom bubble reality.  We still brought in a lot of cash, but new sales were harder to obtain, so we were relying on our substantial ongoing service contracts to pay the bills.  Growth was not happening.

But that didn’t stop our CEO.  We totally missed our numbers?  Well, we’re still taking all the sales people on the big annual trip to Mexico, even if they didn’t make quota, because otherwise they might become demoralized and stop selling so much… as though their salaries didn’t depend on commissions.

We also had to hire the CEO’s daughter and best friend as summer interns where they basically hung out and gossiped and did as little work as possible.  This probably would have been the least of his sins if the pair hadn’t been so obviously there to party and do nothing.  Like, not even a pretense of work whenever I saw them.

And then there was the big annual holiday party, and the company birthday party, where he liked to stand up and bloviate about how great things were going and blah blah blah.

He also set us on a path to make a new product built on our platform.  This wasn’t necessarily a bad idea.  The web banking and HR apps we had done before had been very successful… so much so that they had led us to being acquired which got us into this situation with the buffoon CEO from hell.

The problem wasn’t building up an app, the problem was that it was envisioned as a “do all the things” contact center, customer relationship management app that was so ill defined that we spent a couple years working on it, the had to change it completely for the first customer.  It was a disaster that drew time and resources from the core product that was, and would always, make all the money for the business.

Meanwhile the CEO was printing up marketing documents based on interviews he did where he declared our platform could do things that we were clearly not capable of. There was a Dilbert cartoon at the time where the sales person promises that their product can detect tachyon emissions.  That was Joe in interviews.  And then he would loop back and make tachyon emission detection a critical priority.  So when he promised we had full language understanding in our product, he wanted it to happen.

We ended up buying a proto-language model startup called YY Software that was ahead of its time, but clearly not capable of delivering on its vision, and tried to make that into something.

That led to an incident where the team working on it was training the language model based on a history of email provided by the Royal Auto Club, which had been promised an automated email response system, and the lab’s test Microsoft Exchange server that was used to simulate the RAC environment and generate responses linked itself to the main corporate Exchange server, because that is what Exchange servers are supposed to do, and sent automated replies to the thousands of test email messages they had been working with.

That was not a good day.

There was also a huge push to get out features more quickly, so it was declared that we would go to a quarterly release cadence.

We had been on something like an annual release cadence, supplying patches and updates while we worked on the next release.  But sales needed features NOW if they were going to make quota… the poor sales people couldn’t be expected to stay engaged unless they had new shiny things to sell constantly… so we had the horrible year of four releases.

That may not sound like a big deal, but here is the thing.  IT departments do not like to upgrade software more than once a year.  Also, enterprise software vendors don’t like to support more than a couple of versions of their platform.  So everybody was happy with the annual cadence.  And then we sped it up and got a ton of push back from the field.

Our support policy, agreed to by all customers, was that they had to update to the current or previous version of the platform in order to get support.  By pushing four updates in a 12 month period, we basically pushed our entire customer base back four versions, so technically nobody was supported except for those few companies who happened to be ready for an update or were doing new installs.

And when push came to shove, when support started telling people about the policy, the threats to cancel the support contracts started to show up, and that was the life blood of the company, what paid the bills.  So the CEO… and the new VP of sales, who was a pretentious, self-important jerk of the “this feature should be easy, development is lying when they say how long they need to make it” sort… declared that we would support many versions of the platform, leading to no end of headaches in engineering because every release had to maintain its own build system because annual releases meant we often made big changes to libraries, third party integrations, and compiler versions.

We ended up having one version released during that cycle, EWF 7.2 as I recall, used by exactly one customer, Toys R Us.  That is not the situation you want to be in.  We also had one of those releases that had zero customers adopt it… which was better, but we had to go through all the supporting work for a release, which is not trivial, and we incremented the latest supported release by one with this.

And then there was the overwrought customer feedback module.  Joe gave some academic who had impressed his with something about “delighted” customers being some huge percentage more lucrative to a company, so Joe hired him at some no doubt obscene salary, put him in charge of this new product module, and told us to do what he said.  Again, a nice guy, but academics in a business setting are often completely out of their depth, especially when trying to shoehorn their pet theory into product reality.  He had absolutely no idea what would sell, he thought just having a good idea was enough.

So we ended up shipping a post-call survey module that was supposed to come with a bunch of professional service in the form of this guy setting up the surveys and then evaluating the data.  Because of this he insisted that every copy of the module come with a fully licensed copy of SPSS.  That is a bit like requiring the full version of Microsoft Access Professional with a simple contact manager app… only, at least Access is aimed at business use, and not a purely academic tool like SPSS.

And, to top it all off, I was told to sign off on the product before it was anywhere close to being done or ready to ship because it has been promised for whatever quarter that was.  I did what I was told, though I was comforted by the fact that I knew we would never sell a copy or, if we did, we would probably have to refund it for being a ridiculous waste of time.  Our professional services team had been making post-call surveys for years.  It was not a difficult thing.  Most companies just want a feel for how things went, not an academically rigorous study of their customers mood.

This was an era of lying really.  I am going to sound mean here, but that is what you get when you put the sales VP in charge of things.  This was the era when I was asked by marketing to create a list of features we were working on for the Gartner Magic Quadrant review and I gave them the true and honest list.  They came back and told me we were currently telling people we had all of these features already.  I had to ask what they wanted then.  They worked in marketing, they could theoretically make up better ideas for Gartner than I could.

With all of this profligate spending, the dotcom bubble having burst, our rent being way over market, and the crazy, go nowhere projects that were being demanded, and just a constant stream of lies to the market, our customers, our owners, and anybody who dared give us a listen, we were losing money.  That was made up for in the usual way, by laying people off.

Come 2010 and the valley crisis caused by the collapse of the housing market investment scam HR professionals started a policy of not hiring people who had been laid off, as there was something wrong with them.  There was a headline in the Wall Street Journal in favor of this.

I always felt you ought to get credit against that asinine policy for the number of layoffs you managed to survive.  I would have gotten a lot of credits as for several years we were doing layoffs every six months as we failed to control spending but needed to cut costs.

By that point I was a manager and had to stack rank my team every time that came around, prioritizing the people I would need to complete current projects… because at no time were we allowed to reduce our goals as we laid people off… so I had to pick and choose from who could cover what aspects of the plan.  Anybody who specialized in one area was likely gone… unless nobody else knew that code.  Then I couldn’t part with them.

That didn’t stop the parties.  We laid off a bunch of people one week and had a big holiday party at a fancy restaurant the next.  Or maybe that was the one at the museum of modern art?  They were always poorly planned by Joe’s admin, the hallmark of their incompetence being ritzy locations with about half as many chairs as people attending so early arrivals would grab all the seats and anybody after had to eat standing up.  Always the same mistake, over and over.  It was as though our corporate motto was something about never learning from our mistakes.

Finally, at one point, many quarters too late, Joe was called on the carpet for not delivering on anything he had promised and losing money… because all S1 asked of us was to not be a drag on the bottom line until they could sell us.  Just don’t suck was literally the goal, and he couldn’t manage it.

He was out as were a few other people at the top.  There was also another round of layoffs.  And then we got a new sheriff in town, a guy name Mitch.  Somebody who wasn’t in sales, who was supposed to have some business sense, somebody who was going to turn the place around.  A neighbor and pal of Steve Jobs who was going to do for us what he did for Next… quite literally in the end.

Mitch showed up on the day after another big layoff and told those of us who remained how we were going to return to growth.  He told us a bit about himself… he liked to remind everybody he was friends with Steve Jobs… or at least a neighbor of his… then ended up in a meandering, old man tale about his career where he told us he had never been dumb enough to hang around at a company when it was clearly going down hill and laying people off.

Then, of course, he realized that we was talking to a group that would be critical to any success the company would have going forward and that he had basically called us a bunch of losers and dumbshits for sticking around.  Also, it was not lost on us that mister smarty pants had also signed on for this voyage.  Anyway, he tried to recover in a way along the lines of that scene in Caddyshack.

This is the worst hat I have ever seen!  Does this hat come with a free bowl of soup?

Then on seeing the whole room wearing that hat…

But on you it looks good!

So we were leery.  He said a lot of the right things, but he clearly had a low opinion of us.  And, as would be obvious in the end, he didn’t give two shits about anybody in the room beside himself.  He didn’t care about the company at all.  He was just there to sell us down the river and collect his 30 pieces of silver like any of the VC/Wall Street class.

But first he wanted to get us out of our crappy building.  At least we were all kind of on board with that.  That led to the event which I refer to as “the move.”

The tales so far:

EverQuest Starting Points – Butcherblock and Kaladim

One of the interesting aspects of old EverQuest, something else borrowed from TorilMUD and in turn used by WoW (even as it was skipped by EverQuest II which had just two cities, each with several racial ghettos) was the fact that every race had their own distinct hometown to start in.

Except humans, who had two, Qeynos and Freeport, because they run the place and you all suffer under the boot of their oppression or some such.  But the catalog of other races got their own special places.  And those were, indeed, starting points.

I’ve already mentioned on, Surefall Glade, the little side area that half elves were relegated to.  But the other races were a little more well accommodated, and I am going to go down the list of those home towns in order of my familiarity with them, starting with Kaladim and its zone, Butcher Block, located on Faydwer… or as the Freeport leaders called it, “weirdo island.”

Seriously, the boat from Freeport to Butchblock was slow as an attempt to reduce the tide of shorties and pointy ears from showing up.  Or that is my theory in any case.

Kaladim I have vague memories of.  It was certainly a fully developed underground city with amenities to rival Qeynos, if not Freeport.  But by the time I made my dwarf alt, a paladin who became my main character for quite a while, I had spent enough time exploring cities and wasting time on crafting.  I was more about being out in the world and grouping up to kill stuff… undead especially.

Kaladim was divided into north and south, much like Qeynos, with the south end leading out to the world through the magnificent edifice of the hills that represented all the subtlety of the dwarves.

Welcome to Kaladim!

There was no missing that if you were out wandering Butcherblock.

Inside you can see the layout of the city, which was carved out of the living rock and only mildly claustrophobic, with caves that had buildings in them.

Not sure why the needed roofed buildings, it wasn’t going to rain in here

Wandering it for this post, clearly a lot of work went into crafting it, and there were all sorts of things including a mine with some mobs to sink your teeth into… rats mostly, but better than nothing.  The kill ten rats meme lives on.

Down in the mines of Kaladim

There are maps of course, once again grabbed from the Project 1999 wiki.

North Kaladim

  • 1. Merchant selling Gems
  • 2. Merchant selling Brellium, Ore, Smithy Hammers, Sharpening Stones
  • 3. Cleric Guild – Merchants selling Blunt Weapons, Food and Goods Merchant outside
  • 4. Ratsbone Treasure and Assay Office – Bank, Merchants who sell Throwing Weapons (Kafia Ratsbone), Mining Supplies & Boxes (Kadek Norkhitter), and Rogue Guild Members outside
  • 5. Pottery Wheel and Kiln
  • 6. Empty Hut
  • 7. Empty Hut
  • 8. Everhot Forge – Merchants selling Blunt and Sharp Weapons, Small Chain and Plate Armor, Small Plate and Shield Molds, Weapon Molds (Bndainy Everhot), Jewelry Metal and Rare Gems, Forge Outside
  • 9. Greybloom Farms – Merchants selling Grapes, Brew Barrel inside, Oven outside
  • 10. Paladin Guild

South Kaladim

  • 1. Tanned Assets – Merchant selling Small Leather Armor
  • 2. Irontoe’s Eats – home of Tumpy Irontoe, Merchants selling Alcohol and Meat Pies
  • 3. Staff and Spear – Merchants selling Swords (Didek Stormhammer) and Fletching Supplies (Alanury Stormhammer)
  • 4. Redfist’s Metal – Merchants selling Small Shields and Weapons of all types, Forge and Stormguard Forge outside
  • 5. The Arena (not PvP)
  • 6. Pub Kal – Merchants selling Alcohol (Hanamaf Darkfoam & Dura Darkfoam), Brew Barrel, Bard outside
  • 7. Warrior’s Guild with Merchants selling Various Weapons
  • 8. Priest of Discord
  • 9. Merchant selling Potions and Crystals
  • 10. Merchant selling Bags, Pottery Wheel and Kiln outside
  • 11. Gurtha’s Ware with Merchants selling Small Boots, Small Cloth Armor, Pottery Supplies, Oven outside
  • 12. Castle – home of the King

Heading south out of Kaladim, you enter the zone of Butcherblock, which is in its way one of the more iconic zones of the early game.

Though, admittedly, it isn’t all that impressive up front.  I mean, the place is covered wall to wall and up to the mountain tops in the generic faux grass linoleum pattern, with squiggly paths drawn by inebriated elves (we’ll get to them later) to help guide you around.

The long and winding path…

And there are these neat little buildings scattered about.

Hey, who lives here?

However most of them are empty, the provide no protection from the roving mobs of the zone unless you find the few that have guards around them, and if you’ve made a barbarian you’re going to be unable to go inside in any case.  The lesson here was to only make short characters, as this issue would crop up elsewhere.

And the zone itself… was not all that big.  Once again, to the map room on the Project 1999 wiki.

Butcherblock Mountains

The legend for that map:

  • G. Guard Houses
  • 1. Docks: Northern Pier leads to Freeport, Southern Pier leads to Firiona Vie in Kunark, Merchants that sell Food and other goods, also many houses representing all the races on Faydwer
  • 2. Stone with Guard, Blyle Bundin spawns south of here
  • 3. Ancient Stone Ring, protected by Dwarves
  • 4. Huts with Merchants who sell Food, Cookie Molds, Smithing Molds, Brewing Supplies and Books, and other Goods
  • 5. Goblin Camp
  • 6. Partially destroyed Ancient Stone Ring with a small level goblin camp. A Crazed Goblin spawns here.
  • 7. The Chessboard
  • 8. Dwarf Hut
  • 9. Tower with Guards and High Elf Merchant selling Food and other goods
  • 10. Bandit Camp with Peg Leg and others
  • 11. Goblin Warrior Camp
  • 12. Bandit Camp
  • 13. Altar
  • 14. Stone Pillar protected by Orcs
  • 15. Goblin Camp
  • 16. Dwarf Houses which sell Leather Armor and Sewing Patterns
  • 17. Abandoned Guard House with Signus Boran inside
  • 18. “The Crossroads” – Guard House with Nyzil Bloodforge
  • 19. Merchants who sell Clay, Firing Sheets, Chain Armor, tailoring patterns, Large Sewing Kit and other goods
  • 20. Druid Ring with Merchant selling Druid Spells
  • 21. Haunted Tower
  • 22. Goblin Camp, Spawn Point for Corflunk Placeholder (-2083, -194)
  • 23. Stone Tower
  • 24. Enraged Goblins

The zone felt much larger because, unlike the Plains of Karanas, it was divided up into little chunks that forced you to go the long way around to get places rather than running straight across the zone.  That was the only way to accommodate all that is going on with that map I suppose

On the west side of the map is Port Faydwer, which connects to the Ocean of Tears and then to Freeport.

Welcome to Port Faydwer

With the coming of Kunark it also offered service to Firiona Vie, the main port there.

Port Faydwer is where you would wait for the boat, which seemed to run at a very leisurely pace back in the day.  You would wait and wait and wait some more and get bored and run off to kill some aqua goblins that showed up and then somebody would yell, “BOAT!” across the zone and you would run for the dock because you didn’t want to do that wait again.

The new boat

I don’t think that is the original 1999 boat.  I think it got a revamp when Freeport did. It certainly “feels” different, the textures close up seem to be more of the update era than 1999… but I could be wrong.

The zone also has a druid ring… if not a well kept one… and it has skeletons around it… as well as a tower of bone… also skeleton infested… and one of the prime landmarks, the chessboard.

Also featuring skeletons

I remember spending time camping the undead around the chessboard, as they were higher level than most of the zone and also prime targets for a dwarf paladin.

The zone itself is the gateway to Faydwer, and from Butcherblock you can travel to Dagnor’s Cauldron and, from there, the Estate of Unrest.  I will have to get to the Estate of Unrest at some point.

You can also head over to Lesser Faydark, and where all the elves are, which is where I will be heading next.

Series so far: